The past few weeks I’ve been having this overwhelming sense of God’s love in my heart. I seriously think I am going to EXPLODE with the love of the Holy Spirit! I can’t explain the feeling exactly, sometimes I just feel like I am FILLED TO THE BRIM and about to blow up like a dynamite stick with the love of Jesus in my heart!!!
I know this sounds extreme, but I thought I would try to put it down into words. Forgive me for the error of just writing....I'm just so captivated right now!!
I think about a few months back, life just took a huge turn. I mean, I've been doing a lot of things I love doing….traveling, speaking Hope from my past, counseling people, helping them find life in God-Freedom, leading worship, hitting the gym, enjoying this Illinois weather (haha), meeting up with great people and spending quality time with my new close Illinois friends. I can honestly say it’s been “good times.” Even my daily devotion with Jesus has been “good” … I literally feel the presence of the Holy Spirit with me everyday. Recently, I was reading through my daily scriptures, and just enjoying God. Yet, for some reason, I got this weird “lonely feeling” during the day for no reason. I couldn’t make sense of it either? I mean, everything around me has been going great, in fact, great is not even the right word… everything has been seriously EXCITING and SUPERNATURAL! I am witnessing miracles daily, prophesying and ministering to people all the time and seeing lives transformed before my eyes. Seeing prayers answered, destiny fulfilled and unbelievable things happening. It’s all wonderful!
But sometimes “good” is the enemy of “best”. Life can be good, but is your life experiencing the BEST? What is that best? Sometimes, when we get so full of blessings, we lose the capacity to be desperate and hungry for God. When things just seem to be going good, that could be a sign that you are more focused on the blessings rather than the BLESSER.
Not sure when it happened, but a few months back I just told Papa-God, “I don’t just want to feel you, enjoy your Word and see you do cool stuff around me all day… I SERIOUSLY WITH EVERYTHING IN ME WANT YOU & ONLY YOU…I want You more than ever and I want to go higher and deeper into the depths of Your eternal love. I don’t want to settle for what I already have, I want more of You. I want more of Your manifest presence. I want Your glory in my life. I want to KNOW YOU MORE.”
This Scripture is the only thing that comes to mind! John 17:3 “And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”
Eternal life doesn’t begin later, it begins the moment we are born again in Jesus Christ. From that point on, I believe our purpose in life is to spend every waking moment getting to know this LIFE that is found only in the Person of Jesus. I don’t want to be consumed with all the cool things I can do for God, I want to be consumed with knowing Papa-God more. I mean, like being fascinated with who He is, what He likes, what He dislikes, understanding His personality, gazing into His beauty, feeling His manifest glory and just learning to love being with Him because He is the reason I breathe and live. I'm SO IN LOVE WITH PAPA!!
What better way to live than with God? Seriously, I know this may sound crazy....but He is the ultimate boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, the GREATEST LOVER of all time. Who cares if your single!! I mean, seriously, WE HAVE THE LORD OUR GOD and HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER! When you talk to Jesus He talks back! WT???? Are you kidding me? Think about it for a moment… we can talk to God? Who cares about talking to someone else really, when you can talk to the Creator who created every created being! (not that we can’t experience Jesus when talking to others, but there is a priority in speaking solely to the Lord who then gives us the overflow of His love to engage with others in His strength). When I think about the Lord and all He has done for me, how He is always with me, how He is smiling at me right now, how He loves to love me and gives me the chance to love Him back with all my heart, soul, strength and mind… I sit there stunned at His majesty! He is AWESOME!
Anyways, this post is not going to be coherent, cause I feel like I am going to explode with His love even as I am typing here!!!Anyways...I have recently been fasting, and spending some extended times waiting upon the Lord’s presence, and His glory, anointing, presence, love, whatever you want to call it…. it was Himself…JESUS filled me up and I just sit here and WEEP, and WEEP, and WEEP and WEEEEEEEEEEEEP with tears of JOY!!! And my heart feels this tangible supernatural love that I can’t explain. I feel it right now!! It’s crazy!!! AHHH!!!
You may think I’m crazy, I think I am. I am crazy in love with Jesus, my Daddy & King, my Lover and my Friend! He is my God and OH MY GOD is HE GOD!!
I know it's great that things are going well in my life and that blessings are flowing everywhere. However, At the same time, I have other issues that are not going that great in my life, but somehow I just seem to trust God that it will all work out. I went from almost getting married, to being single, and almost wanting to quit, to not even wanting a girlfriend (and it’s not that I don’t want one) but honestly, when you are seriously madly, deeply in love with Jesus and you constantly take the time out everyday to get FILLED UP WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT and then throughout the day keep walking and talking to this GREAT LOVER and saturate your mind, your will and your ways with His Word, His presence and His glory in all things… the things of this world kind of just fade away. REALLY REALLY...they do.
Now you may say, you are just on a spiritual high right now…well, maybe I am, but it’s not like I went to some conference to get it, or went to some spiritual retreat, had some crazy prophetic encounter, or had some major breakthrough in my life… I just decided one day that I WANTED MORE OF GOD THAN WHAT I ALREADY HAD! and I desire to want Him more each day, more than the day before till the day I die!
Apostle Paul said that his life aim was one thing “That I may know Christ” (Phil 3:10) I can totally imagine that Paul did not die grumpy, bitter, or beat down in his spirit because His spirit was being renewed day by day, closer and closer to Jesus even though His outward man was perishing. That is the way I want to die and go out. When my day ends, I want to die seriously, madly, deeply in love with Jesus.
I have rambled on.....I am seriously just so overtaken by the GREATEST LOVE, and lover of the World! I pray for all those who read this....again, you may think that I am nuts....But I can honestly say....There is no greater depth, than knowing that someone can love you despite all conditions of your life, whether good or bad...JESUS WILL NEVER FAIL!
I love you friends....OH SO MUCH! I wish the same encounter on you! You can have a deeper love...Just ask, and I promise...HE WILL Allow it!
I love you deeply!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
An Outstanding Note from Beth Moore
This is just too good not to pass on!!! For those of you who don't know Beth Moore, she is an outstanding Bible teacher, writer of Bible Studies, and a married mother of 2 daughters. She is a member of First Baptist, in Houston Tx.
Beth Moore
"Knoxville Airport - Reflections"
Waiting to board the plane: I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you.
You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego...
I tried to keep from staring but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long. Clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.
I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport...an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere?....
There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.
I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. "Oh no, God please no." I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, "Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!"...
There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, "Please don't make me witness to ! this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane." Then I heard it..."I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair." The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, "God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm you're girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am on him. I am going to witness to this man."
Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. "That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair."
I looked up at God and quipped, "I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane, How am I supposed to brush his hair without
a hairbrush?"...
God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: "I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works." (2 Tim 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man, and asked as demurely as possible, "Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" He looked back at me and said, "What did you say?" "May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" To which he responded in volume ten, "Little lady, if you expect me to hear you,you're going to have to talk louder than that. At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, "SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?" At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, "If you really want to." Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, "Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush." "I have one in my bag," he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but I must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I for that few minutes felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said,"Sir, do you know my Jesus?" He said, "Yes, I do." Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, "I've known Him since I married my bride." "She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior." He said,
"You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself. What a mess I must be for my bride."
Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it. Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft. I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to
board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, "That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?" I said, "Do you know Jesus? ! He can be the bossiest thing!" And we got to share.
I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted because you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!
I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way...all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.
John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
Live to Influence...despite what you feel, or how you feel.....Obedience is vital when we live to influence as Christ!
I love you deeply!
Dg
Beth Moore
"Knoxville Airport - Reflections"
Waiting to board the plane: I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you.
You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego...
I tried to keep from staring but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long. Clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.
I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport...an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere?....
There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.
I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. "Oh no, God please no." I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, "Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!"...
There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, "Please don't make me witness to ! this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane." Then I heard it..."I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair." The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, "God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm you're girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am on him. I am going to witness to this man."
Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. "That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair."
I looked up at God and quipped, "I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane, How am I supposed to brush his hair without
a hairbrush?"...
God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: "I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works." (2 Tim 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man, and asked as demurely as possible, "Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" He looked back at me and said, "What did you say?" "May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" To which he responded in volume ten, "Little lady, if you expect me to hear you,you're going to have to talk louder than that. At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, "SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?" At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, "If you really want to." Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, "Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush." "I have one in my bag," he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but I must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I for that few minutes felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said,"Sir, do you know my Jesus?" He said, "Yes, I do." Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, "I've known Him since I married my bride." "She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior." He said,
"You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself. What a mess I must be for my bride."
Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it. Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft. I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to
board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, "That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?" I said, "Do you know Jesus? ! He can be the bossiest thing!" And we got to share.
I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted because you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!
I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way...all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.
John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
Live to Influence...despite what you feel, or how you feel.....Obedience is vital when we live to influence as Christ!
I love you deeply!
Dg
Friday, July 24, 2009
How to Stand through Hardships!
I was listening to a Pastor Friend of mine, teach on how to stand in the midst of hard times, and hardship. I got inspired to write on it. It always seems easier to "get" principles, when you apply them and act upon them through His word. Let's Look at this.
“ Blessed (happy, content) is the person who perseveres under trial( hardship, difficulty), because when they stand the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
You know, we will all face trials, and hardship in life.When I think about it, life is complete with trial after trial. It seems that right after you find that rest, or peace, even joy, the Lord allows, yet another trial to come before us, in order to teach us perseverance, or endurance for that matter. It seems to never get easier, does it? However, friends we must never forget that Papa knows what we can stand and what we cannot stand. He knows that the only way for us to have our faith refined and tested, is in the midst of a trial. The heat flowing from the fire of each trial seems to increase, as our faith is stretched and we are being refined. But I want you to understand something, the trial alone doesn't strengthen us, it's how we exercise our faith, in the midst of the hardship that makes us stronger. It's what we say and what we confess. If we are in constant complaint, always nagging on how bad it is, we will never, and I mean never gain strength, however if we as believers speak LIFE words, of what we believe, and act upon what we are saying WE BECOME STRONGER in the midst of our trial. What you say depends on what the trail may be.
In my short experience of life, those closest to me, caused such great disappointment. Yet the ways I view these disappointments are ways of presenting trials that will develop my strength in Jesus. Friends, we must continue on and never give up. We must constantly be reminded that the trials and disappointments are vehicles of suffering. As such, they are constant reminders to us of the Lord Jesus and his suffering. The Scripture reads, "let the weak say I am strong" it's a confession of faith. Christ didn't say" let the suffering say I'm so weak, bring me more pain" though I laugh at such a thought, we as humans struggle with LIFE-Words. And Speaking hope in the midst of our disappointments.
Friends, Jesus came to save that which was lost. His benefits were to forgive our iniquities and heal our diseases, and mend all challenges, such like trials of life, financial hardship, sexual sin, marital challenges, emotional dependencies, yet, he was despised and filled with sorrow. The chastisement of our peace was upon him. He took our sickness and bore our diseases. By the stripes on his body we were healed. Look at all he did for us and yet he had to endure the greatest of trials and persevere where their seemed to be no hope. Jesus did not quit. No one, no circumstances, nothing could keep him from continuing on, until his work was finished.
Sometimes it just never makes any sense. You work diligently at your job. You honor authority and submit with a righteous, and good heart. You are used as a blessing of God’s love and mercy and you touch many lives. Yet, Then there are those who are workers of iniquity, There are those who conspire to deceive and seek only self gain and adulation from humanity. There are those who live apparent lives of splendor and great abundance and wealth. Suddenly, you find yourself in the midst of a trial, in the midst of harship and all you worked for is gone, while those who did not fear God, seem to go on in life, without bearing the scars of the furnace.
Friends, we must go on. We must meet the challenge to the end. For we know that only those who endure to the end, will be ones who will gain the full prize of a glorious place. Our hope and our eyes must be on the prize Giver. We must focus on the finish line, which is realized when we stand face to face with Jesus himself! Jesus is not looking for quitters. He is looking at those who can stand the test. He wants only those who in their weakness are made strong in him. He only wants those who can declare in the center of the fire, that God is good and that He alone is my strength and my shield. He only wants those who look for his approval and confirmation and not that of man. Be strong and of good courage. Endure the hardship, whatever it may be!
A good friend of mine made this statement. "We don't get a crown of life for running a perfect race, we get a crown of life for enduring and not quitting" Jesus Never quit! He was sustained through perseverance!
Be encouraged my dear friends! Whatever the cost....DO NOT QUIT! Stand! Be. Live!
I love you deeply!
Dg
“ Blessed (happy, content) is the person who perseveres under trial( hardship, difficulty), because when they stand the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
You know, we will all face trials, and hardship in life.When I think about it, life is complete with trial after trial. It seems that right after you find that rest, or peace, even joy, the Lord allows, yet another trial to come before us, in order to teach us perseverance, or endurance for that matter. It seems to never get easier, does it? However, friends we must never forget that Papa knows what we can stand and what we cannot stand. He knows that the only way for us to have our faith refined and tested, is in the midst of a trial. The heat flowing from the fire of each trial seems to increase, as our faith is stretched and we are being refined. But I want you to understand something, the trial alone doesn't strengthen us, it's how we exercise our faith, in the midst of the hardship that makes us stronger. It's what we say and what we confess. If we are in constant complaint, always nagging on how bad it is, we will never, and I mean never gain strength, however if we as believers speak LIFE words, of what we believe, and act upon what we are saying WE BECOME STRONGER in the midst of our trial. What you say depends on what the trail may be.
In my short experience of life, those closest to me, caused such great disappointment. Yet the ways I view these disappointments are ways of presenting trials that will develop my strength in Jesus. Friends, we must continue on and never give up. We must constantly be reminded that the trials and disappointments are vehicles of suffering. As such, they are constant reminders to us of the Lord Jesus and his suffering. The Scripture reads, "let the weak say I am strong" it's a confession of faith. Christ didn't say" let the suffering say I'm so weak, bring me more pain" though I laugh at such a thought, we as humans struggle with LIFE-Words. And Speaking hope in the midst of our disappointments.
Friends, Jesus came to save that which was lost. His benefits were to forgive our iniquities and heal our diseases, and mend all challenges, such like trials of life, financial hardship, sexual sin, marital challenges, emotional dependencies, yet, he was despised and filled with sorrow. The chastisement of our peace was upon him. He took our sickness and bore our diseases. By the stripes on his body we were healed. Look at all he did for us and yet he had to endure the greatest of trials and persevere where their seemed to be no hope. Jesus did not quit. No one, no circumstances, nothing could keep him from continuing on, until his work was finished.
Sometimes it just never makes any sense. You work diligently at your job. You honor authority and submit with a righteous, and good heart. You are used as a blessing of God’s love and mercy and you touch many lives. Yet, Then there are those who are workers of iniquity, There are those who conspire to deceive and seek only self gain and adulation from humanity. There are those who live apparent lives of splendor and great abundance and wealth. Suddenly, you find yourself in the midst of a trial, in the midst of harship and all you worked for is gone, while those who did not fear God, seem to go on in life, without bearing the scars of the furnace.
Friends, we must go on. We must meet the challenge to the end. For we know that only those who endure to the end, will be ones who will gain the full prize of a glorious place. Our hope and our eyes must be on the prize Giver. We must focus on the finish line, which is realized when we stand face to face with Jesus himself! Jesus is not looking for quitters. He is looking at those who can stand the test. He wants only those who in their weakness are made strong in him. He only wants those who can declare in the center of the fire, that God is good and that He alone is my strength and my shield. He only wants those who look for his approval and confirmation and not that of man. Be strong and of good courage. Endure the hardship, whatever it may be!
A good friend of mine made this statement. "We don't get a crown of life for running a perfect race, we get a crown of life for enduring and not quitting" Jesus Never quit! He was sustained through perseverance!
Be encouraged my dear friends! Whatever the cost....DO NOT QUIT! Stand! Be. Live!
I love you deeply!
Dg
Discussion of Doctrine - "Calvinism vs. Arminianism"
The Truth about God's Word!
I have wanted to write or post on this for quite some time. I have to admit, the search and conclusion has been one of great challenge. However, through recent conversations with a few of my dear friends, I have gone on a journey that I firmly believe challenged me to seek God in a greater way. When a friend of mine sent me this article, it was given without the author's name. She encouraged me to post it, due to the fact I have lots of people question me regarding my view of calvinism, and I did right away. Due to the fact that the author and I, through my personal study, see for the most part eye-to-eye. I immediately posted the article without research of who the author was.
Due to a clarification comment of the article, with the Author's Name, I am RE-Posting this article!...
"CALVINISM VS. ARMINIANISM"
Written by Larry Taylor (Calvary Chapel Bible College)
INTRODUCTION
Our Ministry has sought the Biblical middle ground between the extremes of Pentecostalism versus fundamentalism, emotionalism versus traditionalism, and Calvinism versus Arminianism. With respect to this extreme debate, I have realized that no final solution is possible. Great theological minds have debated the issues of free will versus the sovereignty of God for centuries without ever being able to reconcile the two. Arguing for one side at the expense of the other is foolish because it is by nature not provable, and therefore is an argument which no one can win. Humility demands that we bow in the presence of a God who is beyond our intellectual comprehension and confess the wisdom of Deuteronomy 29:29: "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever..."
SO WHAT IS CALVINISM?
Historically, the doctrine we call Calvinism arose out of the teaching of the reformer John Calvin, although five point Calvinism as it is espoused by its followers today was not taught by Calvin, but instead implied by those who carried his teachings to what they considered to be their logical conclusions. Calvinism is often called Reformed theology, as distinct from Lutheran or Anabaptist theology, and is founded upon John Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion. The Puritans and independent Presbyterians of Great Britain were heavily influenced by Calvin's writings, but some of its greatest followers were Dutch (Bavinck, Kuyper, etc.). Calvinism is the basis for the doctrine of many Baptist, Presbyterian, and Reformed churches. In The Canons of the Synod of Dort in 1619, a response to the teachings of James Arminius, the five points of Calvinism were stated as follows:
1. Total Depravity, the belief that man is dead in trespasses and sins and totally unable to save himself. Many adherents of Calvinism carry this a step further, claiming that man cannot even desire a relationship with God apart from His working in their hearts. In fact, it is claimed that God must regenerate a person before they can even desire to come to Christ.
2. Unconditional election is the belief that in eternity past God chose or elected certain people to obtain salvation. Some Calvinists (although not all) carry this belief further and teach what is referred to as "double election", or "reprobation", the teaching that God, in eternity past, selected some people to go to heaven and others to go to hell, and there is nothing anyone can do to change God's election; i.e., if you are elected for heaven, you'll go to heaven regardless of what you do, and if you're elected for hell, there is no possibility of your ever being saved. John Calvin taught this, but called it a terrible doctrine.
3. Limited atonement is the Calvinist teaching that Jesus did not die for the sins of the entire world, but that He instead only died for those that He elected to go to heaven. The argument is that Christ's work on the Cross must be "efficacious," that is, it must work for all for whom He died, that He could not have shed His blood for those who are lost. Some Calvinists have gone to great lengths to explain away limited atonement, saying, for example, that Jesus died for all, but does not pray for all, or that His death theoretically could save everyone, but is effective only for the elect. The end result is the same in each case - the belief that Jesus only died effectively for some people, not all.
4. Irresistible grace is the doctrine that teaches that God will draw to Himself those whom He elected regardless of their rebellion against Him. It is the belief that man cannot resist the drawing of God to Himself.
5. Perseverance of the saints, or eternal security, is the doctrine that often attracts people to Calvinism because it is the belief that a true born again Christian cannot lose or give up his salvation because salvation is entirely God's work, not man's.
SO WHAT IS ARMINIANISM?
Jacobus (James) Arminius was a Dutch theologian who lived from 1560-1609. Arminius taught that man is not guilty for Adam's sin, but only when he chooses to sin voluntarily. Arminius started out as a strict Calvinist, but later modified his views, views which were expressed in a document called The Remonstrance in 1610. Arminianism is the theological basis for the Methodist, Wesleyan, Nazarene, Pentecostal, Free Will Baptist, Holiness, and many charismatic churches. Arminianism teaches:
1. Election based on knowledge, the belief that God chose those who would be saved in eternity past based on His foreknowledge of those who would respond to and receive the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Arminianism rejects the concept that God elected anyone for hell.
2. Unlimited atonement is the belief that Jesus died on the Cross for all people, that His blood is sufficient to pay the penalty for the sins of every man, woman, and child who has ever lived. Thus, all mankind is savable.
3. Natural inability is the teaching that man cannot save Himself, but that the Holy Spirit must effect the new birth in him. Strict Arminians do not believe that man is totally depraved and condemned as a result of Adam's sin.
4. Prevenient grace is the Arminian belief that the prepatory work of the Holy Spirit enables the believer to respond to the Gospel and to cooperate with God in the working out of that person's salvation.
5. Conditional perseverance is the belief that man can choose to reject God, and therefore lose his salvation, even after he has been born again. Rather than the "once saved always saved" doctrine of the Calvinists, the Arminian believes that you must abide in Christ to be saved, and that you can choose to walk away from God. Arminius himself, and his early followers, stated that they were unsure of this doctrine and that it required further Biblical study. Later Arminians, however, accepted it.
AN EVALUATION OF THE DOCTRINES
At the heart of the controversy between Calvinism and Arminianism is the emphasis on the sovereignty of God by the Calvinists and on the free will of man, or human responsibility, by the Arminians. Arminian theology teaches that man has free will and that God will never interrupt or take that free will away, that God has obligated Himself to respect the free moral agency and capacity of free choice with which He created us. Calvinism, on the other hand, emphasizes that God is in total control of everything, and that nothing can happen that He does not plan and direct, including man's salvation. Both doctrinal positions are logical, both have Scriptures to back up each of their five points, and both are, in my opinion, partially right and partially wrong.
As Philip Schaff put it in his History of the Christian Church, "Calvinism emphasizes divine sovereignty and free grace; Arminianism emphasizes human responsibility. The one restricts the saving grace to the elect; the other extends it to all men on the condition of faith. Both are right in what they assert; both are wrong in what they deny. If one important truth is pressed to the exclusion of another truth of equal importance, it becomes an error, and loses its hold upon the conscience. The Bible gives us a theology which is more human than Calvinism and more divine than Arminianism, and more Christian than either of them." (New York, Charles Scribner's & Son, 1910, VIII 815 f). Certainly, the Bible does teach that God is sovereign (Psalm 135:6; Daniel 4:35, Ephesians 1:11), and that believers are predestined and elected by God (Romans 8) to spend eternity with Him. Nowhere, however, does the Bible ever associate election with damnation. Conversely, the Scriptures teach that God elects for salvation, but that unbelievers are in hell by their own choice.
Every passage of the Bible that deals with election deals with it in the context of salvation, not damnation. No one is elect for hell. The only support for such a view (which John Calvin did teach) is human logic, not Biblical revelation. The idea of total depravity is consistent with Scripture (Ephesians 2:1, Romans 3:11), but the doctrine of limited atonement, that Jesus did not die for the sins of the whole world, is clearly anti-Biblical (John 3:16, I Timothy 2:6, 11 Peter 2:1, I John 2:2). The Bible teaches that Jesus died for everyone's sins and that everyone is able to be saved if they will repent and turn to Christ. Limited atonement is a non-Biblical doctrine. (John 3:16,17; Romans 5:8, 18; 2Corinthians 5:14,15; 1Timothy 2:4; 4:10; Hebrews 2:9; 10:29; 2Peter 2: I; 1John 2:2; 4:14.)
Irresistible grace is taught by some, who do not understand the concept, to mean that God drags people to Himself contrary to their wills. Actually, the Biblical view, and the view of most Calvinists, is the belief that God works on our wills so as to make us willing to surrender to Him. In other words, He makes us willing to come to Christ for salvation. And, many Scriptures teach that a true believer is safe and secure in Christ, that salvation doesn't depend on our ability to keep ourselves, but on God's ability to keep us. (1John S:11-13; John 10:28; Romans 5:1 and 8:1). The only condition for salvation is faith in Christ (John 3:16; Acts 16:31; Romans 10:9). On the other hand, the Bible teaches us that we must abide in Christ (John 15; Luke 13:14; Colossians 1:29; 2Timothy 2:5; Hebrews 6:4-6; 1Peter 1:10) to persevere in salvation.
THE FRUIT OF ARMINIANISM
In its strictest form, Arminianism has taught that man is responsible for saving himself via his own good works of devotion. Although not the view of Arminius, or of Wesley, the teaching from some pulpits puts the emphasis on man's efforts to the expense of God's grace. Thus, in its extreme form, Arminianism leads to the belief that if a believer sins, he has lost his salvation, and must be born again over and over again. Hence, the emphasis in some churches of coming to the altar at each meeting to repent, rededicate, and renew the salvation which was invariably lost in the course of daily life. Adherents of this position have no assurance of salvation, no rest in Christ, and no spiritual peace. Or, on the other hand, if they can convince themselves that they've reached a state of sinless perfection (which is clearly contrary to 1John 1), then believers become proud and super-spiritual, seeing themselves as having reached a higher spiritual plane than regular Christians. A "works equals righteousness" theology leads either to terror and fear or to pride and haughtiness.
Innumerable believers have lived in needless fear because they wondered time and time again whether or not they were truly saved, thinking that each time they sinned, each time they discovered anything internal unlike Christ, indeed, anytime they felt emotionally separated from God, that they were no longer His children. Surely it is not the will of God for His children to live in such bondage. The fact is that we can know for certain that we are His children, we can know for certain that our sins are forgiven, that we will spend eternity in heaven with the Lord. The Lord does not want His children to doubt His love, nor does He want them to believe that they must, through their own efforts and good works, gain or maintain their salvation. Our position with God is determined by faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ for us on the Cross. We can rest in His love and grace, knowing that He who began a good work in us will complete it. We need not fear the one who said He would never leave us or forsake us, who promised to present those who believe in Christ faultless before His presence, who said that He would be with us until the end of the age. Similarly, it is not the will of God for His children to feel prideful, for them to take credit for the salvation that is entirely His work, for them to falsely believe that they are sinlessly perfect, or better than other believers in any way. Arminianism has historically lead to the holiness movements which teach sinless perfection, and foster pride in some, while condemning and terrifying the more timid.
THE FRUIT OF CALVINISM
Five point Calvinists, like full strict Arminians, typically bear fruit contrary to the teaching of God's Word. Specifically, it is typical of five point Calvinists to ignore or at times even oppose evangelism. After all, if all of humanity is either predestined to hell or to heaven, and there is nothing anyone can do to switch from one group to the other regardless of their will, then why evangelize? The elect will be saved whether they like it or not, and the non-elect will be doomed whether they want to or not. Historically, some hyper-Calvinists have even gone so far as to object to putting a Gospel verse on a sign, lest one of the non-elect read it and believe, thus thwarting God's plan. Even today, Calvinists can be found fighting against evangelistic crusades and missions.
Secondly, strict Calvinism seems to invariably lead to division, strife and argument. Many Calvinists seem to spend more time arguing with fellow Christians about doctrine than loving and caring for the lost and hurting in the world. They are seeking, it seems, to convert the converted, and have neglected the call of God to missions, evangelism, and practical service. Indeed, Calvinism seems to attract those of an argumentative nature who are often unteachable, legalistic, and dogmatic. Five point Calvinists tend to speak of love and grace frequently, but display very little of either. Rather than loving and serving the lost and hurting, they are engaged in continual arguing, often dividing the Body of Christ in a legalistic and hurtful manner. To many of them, being what they consider to be right is more important than doing what Jesus commanded, viz., evangelizing the lost and ministering to those in need. I have not infrequently seen rank Calvinists who assert that because God chose some for heaven and others for hell, we cannot know the destiny of babies who die. If they were elect, they are in heaven, if not, hell. Such a belief makes God a monster who eternally tortures innocent children, it removes the hope of consolation from the Gospel, it limits the atoning work of Christ, it resists evangelism, it stirs up argumentation and division, and it promotes a small, angry, judgmental God rather than the large-hearted God of the Bible.
THE BIBLICAL BALANCE
Like a river that flows between two banks, so the truth of God's Word flows between the extremes of Calvinism and Arminianism. As it has been pointed out, both are true and both are false. Election and predestination are Biblical doctrines. God knows everything and therefore He cannot learn anything or be surprised by anything. Thus, He knows, and has known from eternity past, who will exercise their free will to accept Him and who will reject Him. The former are the elect, the latter are non-elect. As D.L. Moody once said, the "whosoever wills are the elect, and the whosoever wont's are the non-elect." Every person who is not saved will have only himself to blame; God will not send anyone to hell, but many people will choose to go there by exercising their free will to reject Christ. On the other hand, no one who is saved will be able to take any of the credit. Our salvation, from start to finish, is 100% God's work, and is based entirely on the finished work of the Cross. We were dead in trespasses and sins, destined for hell, when God in His grace, drew us to Himself, convinced us of our sin and our need for a Savior, and gave us the authority to call Jesus Lord. Is this grace, this wooing, irresistible? No, we have free will and we can resist, even to the damnation of our souls, but God does everything short of making us puppets to draw us into His family.
Moreover the concept of a limited atonement, that Jesus only died for the elect, and not for the sins of all people, is clearly unbiblical. The Bible is crystal clear that Jesus' death on the cross was for all people, and that there is sufficient power in His blood to cleanse away every sin. "Whosoever will may come" is meaningless if man has no free will and no ability to choose God.
The question of whether or not a Christian can lose or walk away from salvation (point 5 in both doctrinal systems) is academic. When a person who claims to be a Christian and shows some fruit to that effect turns his back on God and lives the life of a pagan, the Arminian says he was saved and is now not saved, while the Calvinist says that he was either never really saved to start with, or that he is severely backslidden, but still within grace. Ultimately, no one, not even the sinning person, knows the truth - only God does. In a backslidden or sin-filled state, there is no assurance of salvation, no resting in Jesus, no peace of God in the heart. So the sinning person, whether he is actually a Christian or just thinks he might be, needs to repent and get right with God. The true believer in Christ never has to doubt his salvation. He can rest in the perfect assurance that God saved him and will keep him, and nothing will ever separate him from God's love in time or eternity. We are secure in Christ, kept by the power of His loving grace, forever safe in Jesus.
It is imperative to remember that both Calvinism and Arminianism are systems of theology devised by godly, devout, Bible-believing men in the 1600's. Both systems are based on the Word of God, and both contain essential elements of truth, but neither can be substituted for reading and believing the Word of God. The Apostolic church knew nothing of either system, they simply believed what God had revealed. The difficulty arises when it seems that some of what God has revealed contradicts something else He revealed. How can man be absolutely free and God absolutely sovereign and directive simultaneously? How can salvation be entirely God's work, yet require the cooperation of mere men simultaneously? These are unanswerable questions ultimately. The Bible teaches both the sovereignty of God and the free will of man. It teaches what appears to be unconditional perseverance in some places and conditional perseverance in others. These things can never be intellectually reconciled because God is simply too big for us to understand. Both systems of theology emphasize one set of Scriptures while either ignoring or drastically twisting and explaining away others. We are not called to understand God, only to believe Him. I am a free moral agent, responsible for my own sin, hopelessly lost. Jesus not only died for me, He drew me to Himself with bands of lovingkindness and grace, convicted me of my sin, gave me the power to call Him Lord, and will one day present me faultless before His presence with great joy. I am, by His grace, His child. And yet, I am still free to walk with Him or not to walk with Him. And what applies to me, applies to every human being. Jesus died for all of us and desires fellowship with all of us. Whosoever will may come and receive of His forgiveness and grace and salvation. Innocent babies who die are safe in heaven. God's election excludes no one; Jesus' atonement includes everyone. As has been pointed out, we are looking at two sides of the same coin. Election is God's side, free will is our side. Someone once said that as we enter life, we see emblazoned over the gateway the words "Whosoever will may come;" then as we enter and look back at the backside of the same gateway, we see inscribed what the words "Elect from the foundation of the earth." Election is God's side of the coin we call salvation, human responsibility is our side.
Rather than interpreting the Bible based on any theological or philosophical structure, it behooves us to simply read and believe the Word of God. As we teach the Scriptures from Genesis to Revelation, verse by verse, in context, we will at times sound like staunch Calvinists, preaching those passages which emphasize God's sovereignty, while at other times we will seem like devout Arminians, as we preach those passages which emphasize man's responsibility. The key to successful christian-living is balance - to stay focused on the Word of God, and not become distracted by the doctrines of men.
Throughout the history of my maturing life, I want to credit pastors and dear friends and those that God has raised up around me, for they have maintained a Biblical balance, that makes them neither Calvinists nor Arminians, but simply Bible-believing brothers and sisters who love Jesus, desire to know Him intimately, long to worship Him in Spirit and in truth, and who yearn to see a lost, broken, hurting, bleeding, dying world come to know the unlimited capacities of His love and grace.
( After reading this article that was sent to me, I couldn't believe that such an article would write what I FIRMLY believe. Through the hearts of many of my leading pastors, who have taught me the balance of the two. I gain a true understanding of what is truth and what is not. )
To my Calvinistic and Arminian friends, this is not to aim daggers at you, but give you an understanding of what I believe, and why I believe it!
I love you tremendously, and am truly grateful for you!
Dg
I have wanted to write or post on this for quite some time. I have to admit, the search and conclusion has been one of great challenge. However, through recent conversations with a few of my dear friends, I have gone on a journey that I firmly believe challenged me to seek God in a greater way. When a friend of mine sent me this article, it was given without the author's name. She encouraged me to post it, due to the fact I have lots of people question me regarding my view of calvinism, and I did right away. Due to the fact that the author and I, through my personal study, see for the most part eye-to-eye. I immediately posted the article without research of who the author was.
Due to a clarification comment of the article, with the Author's Name, I am RE-Posting this article!...
"CALVINISM VS. ARMINIANISM"
Written by Larry Taylor (Calvary Chapel Bible College)
INTRODUCTION
Our Ministry has sought the Biblical middle ground between the extremes of Pentecostalism versus fundamentalism, emotionalism versus traditionalism, and Calvinism versus Arminianism. With respect to this extreme debate, I have realized that no final solution is possible. Great theological minds have debated the issues of free will versus the sovereignty of God for centuries without ever being able to reconcile the two. Arguing for one side at the expense of the other is foolish because it is by nature not provable, and therefore is an argument which no one can win. Humility demands that we bow in the presence of a God who is beyond our intellectual comprehension and confess the wisdom of Deuteronomy 29:29: "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever..."
SO WHAT IS CALVINISM?
Historically, the doctrine we call Calvinism arose out of the teaching of the reformer John Calvin, although five point Calvinism as it is espoused by its followers today was not taught by Calvin, but instead implied by those who carried his teachings to what they considered to be their logical conclusions. Calvinism is often called Reformed theology, as distinct from Lutheran or Anabaptist theology, and is founded upon John Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion. The Puritans and independent Presbyterians of Great Britain were heavily influenced by Calvin's writings, but some of its greatest followers were Dutch (Bavinck, Kuyper, etc.). Calvinism is the basis for the doctrine of many Baptist, Presbyterian, and Reformed churches. In The Canons of the Synod of Dort in 1619, a response to the teachings of James Arminius, the five points of Calvinism were stated as follows:
1. Total Depravity, the belief that man is dead in trespasses and sins and totally unable to save himself. Many adherents of Calvinism carry this a step further, claiming that man cannot even desire a relationship with God apart from His working in their hearts. In fact, it is claimed that God must regenerate a person before they can even desire to come to Christ.
2. Unconditional election is the belief that in eternity past God chose or elected certain people to obtain salvation. Some Calvinists (although not all) carry this belief further and teach what is referred to as "double election", or "reprobation", the teaching that God, in eternity past, selected some people to go to heaven and others to go to hell, and there is nothing anyone can do to change God's election; i.e., if you are elected for heaven, you'll go to heaven regardless of what you do, and if you're elected for hell, there is no possibility of your ever being saved. John Calvin taught this, but called it a terrible doctrine.
3. Limited atonement is the Calvinist teaching that Jesus did not die for the sins of the entire world, but that He instead only died for those that He elected to go to heaven. The argument is that Christ's work on the Cross must be "efficacious," that is, it must work for all for whom He died, that He could not have shed His blood for those who are lost. Some Calvinists have gone to great lengths to explain away limited atonement, saying, for example, that Jesus died for all, but does not pray for all, or that His death theoretically could save everyone, but is effective only for the elect. The end result is the same in each case - the belief that Jesus only died effectively for some people, not all.
4. Irresistible grace is the doctrine that teaches that God will draw to Himself those whom He elected regardless of their rebellion against Him. It is the belief that man cannot resist the drawing of God to Himself.
5. Perseverance of the saints, or eternal security, is the doctrine that often attracts people to Calvinism because it is the belief that a true born again Christian cannot lose or give up his salvation because salvation is entirely God's work, not man's.
SO WHAT IS ARMINIANISM?
Jacobus (James) Arminius was a Dutch theologian who lived from 1560-1609. Arminius taught that man is not guilty for Adam's sin, but only when he chooses to sin voluntarily. Arminius started out as a strict Calvinist, but later modified his views, views which were expressed in a document called The Remonstrance in 1610. Arminianism is the theological basis for the Methodist, Wesleyan, Nazarene, Pentecostal, Free Will Baptist, Holiness, and many charismatic churches. Arminianism teaches:
1. Election based on knowledge, the belief that God chose those who would be saved in eternity past based on His foreknowledge of those who would respond to and receive the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Arminianism rejects the concept that God elected anyone for hell.
2. Unlimited atonement is the belief that Jesus died on the Cross for all people, that His blood is sufficient to pay the penalty for the sins of every man, woman, and child who has ever lived. Thus, all mankind is savable.
3. Natural inability is the teaching that man cannot save Himself, but that the Holy Spirit must effect the new birth in him. Strict Arminians do not believe that man is totally depraved and condemned as a result of Adam's sin.
4. Prevenient grace is the Arminian belief that the prepatory work of the Holy Spirit enables the believer to respond to the Gospel and to cooperate with God in the working out of that person's salvation.
5. Conditional perseverance is the belief that man can choose to reject God, and therefore lose his salvation, even after he has been born again. Rather than the "once saved always saved" doctrine of the Calvinists, the Arminian believes that you must abide in Christ to be saved, and that you can choose to walk away from God. Arminius himself, and his early followers, stated that they were unsure of this doctrine and that it required further Biblical study. Later Arminians, however, accepted it.
AN EVALUATION OF THE DOCTRINES
At the heart of the controversy between Calvinism and Arminianism is the emphasis on the sovereignty of God by the Calvinists and on the free will of man, or human responsibility, by the Arminians. Arminian theology teaches that man has free will and that God will never interrupt or take that free will away, that God has obligated Himself to respect the free moral agency and capacity of free choice with which He created us. Calvinism, on the other hand, emphasizes that God is in total control of everything, and that nothing can happen that He does not plan and direct, including man's salvation. Both doctrinal positions are logical, both have Scriptures to back up each of their five points, and both are, in my opinion, partially right and partially wrong.
As Philip Schaff put it in his History of the Christian Church, "Calvinism emphasizes divine sovereignty and free grace; Arminianism emphasizes human responsibility. The one restricts the saving grace to the elect; the other extends it to all men on the condition of faith. Both are right in what they assert; both are wrong in what they deny. If one important truth is pressed to the exclusion of another truth of equal importance, it becomes an error, and loses its hold upon the conscience. The Bible gives us a theology which is more human than Calvinism and more divine than Arminianism, and more Christian than either of them." (New York, Charles Scribner's & Son, 1910, VIII 815 f). Certainly, the Bible does teach that God is sovereign (Psalm 135:6; Daniel 4:35, Ephesians 1:11), and that believers are predestined and elected by God (Romans 8) to spend eternity with Him. Nowhere, however, does the Bible ever associate election with damnation. Conversely, the Scriptures teach that God elects for salvation, but that unbelievers are in hell by their own choice.
Every passage of the Bible that deals with election deals with it in the context of salvation, not damnation. No one is elect for hell. The only support for such a view (which John Calvin did teach) is human logic, not Biblical revelation. The idea of total depravity is consistent with Scripture (Ephesians 2:1, Romans 3:11), but the doctrine of limited atonement, that Jesus did not die for the sins of the whole world, is clearly anti-Biblical (John 3:16, I Timothy 2:6, 11 Peter 2:1, I John 2:2). The Bible teaches that Jesus died for everyone's sins and that everyone is able to be saved if they will repent and turn to Christ. Limited atonement is a non-Biblical doctrine. (John 3:16,17; Romans 5:8, 18; 2Corinthians 5:14,15; 1Timothy 2:4; 4:10; Hebrews 2:9; 10:29; 2Peter 2: I; 1John 2:2; 4:14.)
Irresistible grace is taught by some, who do not understand the concept, to mean that God drags people to Himself contrary to their wills. Actually, the Biblical view, and the view of most Calvinists, is the belief that God works on our wills so as to make us willing to surrender to Him. In other words, He makes us willing to come to Christ for salvation. And, many Scriptures teach that a true believer is safe and secure in Christ, that salvation doesn't depend on our ability to keep ourselves, but on God's ability to keep us. (1John S:11-13; John 10:28; Romans 5:1 and 8:1). The only condition for salvation is faith in Christ (John 3:16; Acts 16:31; Romans 10:9). On the other hand, the Bible teaches us that we must abide in Christ (John 15; Luke 13:14; Colossians 1:29; 2Timothy 2:5; Hebrews 6:4-6; 1Peter 1:10) to persevere in salvation.
THE FRUIT OF ARMINIANISM
In its strictest form, Arminianism has taught that man is responsible for saving himself via his own good works of devotion. Although not the view of Arminius, or of Wesley, the teaching from some pulpits puts the emphasis on man's efforts to the expense of God's grace. Thus, in its extreme form, Arminianism leads to the belief that if a believer sins, he has lost his salvation, and must be born again over and over again. Hence, the emphasis in some churches of coming to the altar at each meeting to repent, rededicate, and renew the salvation which was invariably lost in the course of daily life. Adherents of this position have no assurance of salvation, no rest in Christ, and no spiritual peace. Or, on the other hand, if they can convince themselves that they've reached a state of sinless perfection (which is clearly contrary to 1John 1), then believers become proud and super-spiritual, seeing themselves as having reached a higher spiritual plane than regular Christians. A "works equals righteousness" theology leads either to terror and fear or to pride and haughtiness.
Innumerable believers have lived in needless fear because they wondered time and time again whether or not they were truly saved, thinking that each time they sinned, each time they discovered anything internal unlike Christ, indeed, anytime they felt emotionally separated from God, that they were no longer His children. Surely it is not the will of God for His children to live in such bondage. The fact is that we can know for certain that we are His children, we can know for certain that our sins are forgiven, that we will spend eternity in heaven with the Lord. The Lord does not want His children to doubt His love, nor does He want them to believe that they must, through their own efforts and good works, gain or maintain their salvation. Our position with God is determined by faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ for us on the Cross. We can rest in His love and grace, knowing that He who began a good work in us will complete it. We need not fear the one who said He would never leave us or forsake us, who promised to present those who believe in Christ faultless before His presence, who said that He would be with us until the end of the age. Similarly, it is not the will of God for His children to feel prideful, for them to take credit for the salvation that is entirely His work, for them to falsely believe that they are sinlessly perfect, or better than other believers in any way. Arminianism has historically lead to the holiness movements which teach sinless perfection, and foster pride in some, while condemning and terrifying the more timid.
THE FRUIT OF CALVINISM
Five point Calvinists, like full strict Arminians, typically bear fruit contrary to the teaching of God's Word. Specifically, it is typical of five point Calvinists to ignore or at times even oppose evangelism. After all, if all of humanity is either predestined to hell or to heaven, and there is nothing anyone can do to switch from one group to the other regardless of their will, then why evangelize? The elect will be saved whether they like it or not, and the non-elect will be doomed whether they want to or not. Historically, some hyper-Calvinists have even gone so far as to object to putting a Gospel verse on a sign, lest one of the non-elect read it and believe, thus thwarting God's plan. Even today, Calvinists can be found fighting against evangelistic crusades and missions.
Secondly, strict Calvinism seems to invariably lead to division, strife and argument. Many Calvinists seem to spend more time arguing with fellow Christians about doctrine than loving and caring for the lost and hurting in the world. They are seeking, it seems, to convert the converted, and have neglected the call of God to missions, evangelism, and practical service. Indeed, Calvinism seems to attract those of an argumentative nature who are often unteachable, legalistic, and dogmatic. Five point Calvinists tend to speak of love and grace frequently, but display very little of either. Rather than loving and serving the lost and hurting, they are engaged in continual arguing, often dividing the Body of Christ in a legalistic and hurtful manner. To many of them, being what they consider to be right is more important than doing what Jesus commanded, viz., evangelizing the lost and ministering to those in need. I have not infrequently seen rank Calvinists who assert that because God chose some for heaven and others for hell, we cannot know the destiny of babies who die. If they were elect, they are in heaven, if not, hell. Such a belief makes God a monster who eternally tortures innocent children, it removes the hope of consolation from the Gospel, it limits the atoning work of Christ, it resists evangelism, it stirs up argumentation and division, and it promotes a small, angry, judgmental God rather than the large-hearted God of the Bible.
THE BIBLICAL BALANCE
Like a river that flows between two banks, so the truth of God's Word flows between the extremes of Calvinism and Arminianism. As it has been pointed out, both are true and both are false. Election and predestination are Biblical doctrines. God knows everything and therefore He cannot learn anything or be surprised by anything. Thus, He knows, and has known from eternity past, who will exercise their free will to accept Him and who will reject Him. The former are the elect, the latter are non-elect. As D.L. Moody once said, the "whosoever wills are the elect, and the whosoever wont's are the non-elect." Every person who is not saved will have only himself to blame; God will not send anyone to hell, but many people will choose to go there by exercising their free will to reject Christ. On the other hand, no one who is saved will be able to take any of the credit. Our salvation, from start to finish, is 100% God's work, and is based entirely on the finished work of the Cross. We were dead in trespasses and sins, destined for hell, when God in His grace, drew us to Himself, convinced us of our sin and our need for a Savior, and gave us the authority to call Jesus Lord. Is this grace, this wooing, irresistible? No, we have free will and we can resist, even to the damnation of our souls, but God does everything short of making us puppets to draw us into His family.
Moreover the concept of a limited atonement, that Jesus only died for the elect, and not for the sins of all people, is clearly unbiblical. The Bible is crystal clear that Jesus' death on the cross was for all people, and that there is sufficient power in His blood to cleanse away every sin. "Whosoever will may come" is meaningless if man has no free will and no ability to choose God.
The question of whether or not a Christian can lose or walk away from salvation (point 5 in both doctrinal systems) is academic. When a person who claims to be a Christian and shows some fruit to that effect turns his back on God and lives the life of a pagan, the Arminian says he was saved and is now not saved, while the Calvinist says that he was either never really saved to start with, or that he is severely backslidden, but still within grace. Ultimately, no one, not even the sinning person, knows the truth - only God does. In a backslidden or sin-filled state, there is no assurance of salvation, no resting in Jesus, no peace of God in the heart. So the sinning person, whether he is actually a Christian or just thinks he might be, needs to repent and get right with God. The true believer in Christ never has to doubt his salvation. He can rest in the perfect assurance that God saved him and will keep him, and nothing will ever separate him from God's love in time or eternity. We are secure in Christ, kept by the power of His loving grace, forever safe in Jesus.
It is imperative to remember that both Calvinism and Arminianism are systems of theology devised by godly, devout, Bible-believing men in the 1600's. Both systems are based on the Word of God, and both contain essential elements of truth, but neither can be substituted for reading and believing the Word of God. The Apostolic church knew nothing of either system, they simply believed what God had revealed. The difficulty arises when it seems that some of what God has revealed contradicts something else He revealed. How can man be absolutely free and God absolutely sovereign and directive simultaneously? How can salvation be entirely God's work, yet require the cooperation of mere men simultaneously? These are unanswerable questions ultimately. The Bible teaches both the sovereignty of God and the free will of man. It teaches what appears to be unconditional perseverance in some places and conditional perseverance in others. These things can never be intellectually reconciled because God is simply too big for us to understand. Both systems of theology emphasize one set of Scriptures while either ignoring or drastically twisting and explaining away others. We are not called to understand God, only to believe Him. I am a free moral agent, responsible for my own sin, hopelessly lost. Jesus not only died for me, He drew me to Himself with bands of lovingkindness and grace, convicted me of my sin, gave me the power to call Him Lord, and will one day present me faultless before His presence with great joy. I am, by His grace, His child. And yet, I am still free to walk with Him or not to walk with Him. And what applies to me, applies to every human being. Jesus died for all of us and desires fellowship with all of us. Whosoever will may come and receive of His forgiveness and grace and salvation. Innocent babies who die are safe in heaven. God's election excludes no one; Jesus' atonement includes everyone. As has been pointed out, we are looking at two sides of the same coin. Election is God's side, free will is our side. Someone once said that as we enter life, we see emblazoned over the gateway the words "Whosoever will may come;" then as we enter and look back at the backside of the same gateway, we see inscribed what the words "Elect from the foundation of the earth." Election is God's side of the coin we call salvation, human responsibility is our side.
Rather than interpreting the Bible based on any theological or philosophical structure, it behooves us to simply read and believe the Word of God. As we teach the Scriptures from Genesis to Revelation, verse by verse, in context, we will at times sound like staunch Calvinists, preaching those passages which emphasize God's sovereignty, while at other times we will seem like devout Arminians, as we preach those passages which emphasize man's responsibility. The key to successful christian-living is balance - to stay focused on the Word of God, and not become distracted by the doctrines of men.
Throughout the history of my maturing life, I want to credit pastors and dear friends and those that God has raised up around me, for they have maintained a Biblical balance, that makes them neither Calvinists nor Arminians, but simply Bible-believing brothers and sisters who love Jesus, desire to know Him intimately, long to worship Him in Spirit and in truth, and who yearn to see a lost, broken, hurting, bleeding, dying world come to know the unlimited capacities of His love and grace.
( After reading this article that was sent to me, I couldn't believe that such an article would write what I FIRMLY believe. Through the hearts of many of my leading pastors, who have taught me the balance of the two. I gain a true understanding of what is truth and what is not. )
To my Calvinistic and Arminian friends, this is not to aim daggers at you, but give you an understanding of what I believe, and why I believe it!
I love you tremendously, and am truly grateful for you!
Dg
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Being Thankful!!
As I write this article, I can’t help but reflect and be thankful for my life and its personal impact on peoples lives. I also can admit that my heart does get frustrated at times for the lack of peoples appreciation for what others do for them. As Christians, how can we learn to be better communicators of our Thanksgiving towards others?
dg
What is being thankful really about? I personally believe it starts when each of us can consciously be appreciative for the things we have or we have enjoyed. I have found this is only the first part to being thankful.
If we want to have a thankful heart and spirit, the second part requires us to choose the attitude that our thankfulness is greater than our disappointments, frustrations, or the negative events we are or have been experiencing.
This means that being thankful is a state of mind rather than a condition or set of circumstances. It is how we interpret the events that happen in our life, not what happens. I would like you to think of two individuals you have known in your life: one who—no matter what—is thankful for his or her situation and life and the other —no matter what—is never really thankful for much.
If given the choice, which individual would you want to do more to help? Obviously we would do more for the thankful person.
What about each of you reading this: would people observe a thankful spirit inside you?
Over the past few years, significant negative events have occurred in my ministry and personal life. Now I could choose to be unthankful, bitter, or upset about these experiences or I could look at the events with a thankful and discerning heart.
I have discovered that in every negative event, there is an equal or greater positive side.
Having the right people in your life is everything. Never compromise your values when finding friends or working with someone else.
We all have a choice to be thankful for the many blessings we already have; your attitude of thankfulness will actually attract more blessings. A friend once framed this for me that no matter what your life condition, there is almost always someone worse off. Complaining adds no value and does not resolve the situation anyway. I learned that from a message my momma preached about six years ago. THANKS YVETTE!!
On the opposite side of this article, I encourage you to have great dreams, visions, and goals. I believe those desires will be best achieved while appreciating and being thankful for what we already have while on the journey of greater success.
Will you accept that challenge? I believe in you!! Let's try this!!
I am thankful for . . .
- My wonderful Spiritual Parents, Pastors and friends Alan & Yvette Latta. They adore their children and embrace life with a passion. They're anchors, who have given a foundation to stand on. I LOVE YOU!
- My best friend Zane, who I have spent more time with, than any other friend, and a friend who has loved me more deeply than any other friend I have had. Thank You Zane...Your the greatest brother!
- The privilege to being an Interim Care Minister / Worship Facilitator with the vision and resources to transform individuals and help change the world, through healing, and Hope.
- The greatest Church team to work for, and with, NEW LIFE CHURCH of Sullivan and the gifts and talents they bring to fulfilling the vision of our Local Church.
- Being part of a free society that allows me to express my gifts, talents, purpose, and beliefs without fear of repercussion. Being allowed to share my faith, my hope and my love for the Absolute best Savior of the World.
Now it's your turn, what are thankful for?
Action Steps (what you can do)
- What would your friends and family say about your thankful spirit?
- Take some time throughout the next few days to become conscious of all the things you are thankful for.
- Acknowledge and recognize all the areas of your life for which you are not currently thankful; reframe your attitude the best you can to embrace a thankful spirit even in these situations.
- Share this gift: give it away. Tell others you appreciate them and are thankful for their contribution in your life.
- Know that your life is a reflection of the friends you keep. If you have an individual or friend who is rarely thankful, maybe it’s time to rethink the amount of time you spend with that person.
- Surround yourself with others who have a thankful spirit; it is contagious.
- Know that I am personally thankful that you spend a portion of your valuable time with me every day. It has been an honor to serve you through my thoughts and words.
dg
A Daddy's Blessing
In Preparation for Father's Day, I have been thinking about a "Daddy's Blessings". It's such a need amongst our youth today. Though my life wasn't surrounded always by the greatest dad, through the years of maturing in the Lord, my heart knows the true reward and treasure of a 'Daddy's Blessings.
I heard a story given about two years ago about a College Professor who had a student in his class who came to him one day and asked if he would give her a blessing. She had some important decisions to make and she needed the Lord’s guidance. This Bible College Professor knew her well and also her family. She came from a home where the dad was I guess "a less" active member in their local church....one who didn’t live the way he should I suppose. The College Professor knew he could give her a blessing but the Holy Spirit told him not to.
The College Professor told his student, "No, I don’t feel I should give you this blessing. You need to ask your father for the blessings". The student couldn’t believe what she had just heard! Her Professor and friend knew her dad, knew he wasn’t "worthy" and she left mad. However, later that week she decided she was going to ask her dad for the blessing. She gathered her courage, and that afternoon she walked into the living room where her dad sat in his favorite chair watching a ball game with a beer in his hand. She gathered her courage and said, "Dad, I need you to give me a blessing". Her father stared at her for a moment, didn’t say a word, got up and turned the television off, .....and walked out of the room and left the house. That was a Saturday afternoon. The family did not see their father for the rest of that day and not even the next day. Then in the evening when they had gathered together for their family devotional (the mother always made sure this happened) the door opened and in walked her dad, all dressed up and asked his daughter if she still wanted that blessing! The room became silent!!
She later said that he may not have given her the most profound blessing she’d ever heard but the spirit-inside him was so strong! That was only the beginning. Her dad from that point on, turned his life around and received Jesus in his heart. Years went by and He served many years as Pastor in that same church...all because one daughter had courage enough to say DAD WILL YOU GIVE ME A DAUGHTER'S BLESSING...he later died, and was considered an honorable man.
As a young man myself, we never know the influence we can have in our homes and in our family... whether we come from a christian, or even non-Christain home, whether dis-functional or functional. We need to be willing to let the spirit inside us touch the lives of those around us. We never know what one request or one word can do for a person, that including our parents.
When I think about this story, I'm reminded of how much I loved it when I heard it. I hope it will help or give you the inspiration to say the right things to your parents. As a leader and teacher in my local church, I have to be mindful of my role in the lives of the children, and younger listeners, even those older than me, for I know they too listen to the heart-spoken words I say.
We have to realize that no matter what age, what color or race we are, the Bible encourages us to always show honor and respect to our parents and leaders, so that our lives can become prosperous, and well-lived. We can help turn hearts to the unity-of-family as we follow the example of Christ's Holy Word. We have to maintain a level of Mature Positive Thinking, and engage our hearts to hear and know the voice of the Lord, to respond the way HE does. This College Professor was not self-righteous but instead humbled himself to listen to the Holy Spirit, which is essential for us as believers to do.
Think about a way you can BLESS YOUR FATHER on HIS CELEBRATING DAY!
To all the Dad's - HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
I love you deeply!
Dg
I heard a story given about two years ago about a College Professor who had a student in his class who came to him one day and asked if he would give her a blessing. She had some important decisions to make and she needed the Lord’s guidance. This Bible College Professor knew her well and also her family. She came from a home where the dad was I guess "a less" active member in their local church....one who didn’t live the way he should I suppose. The College Professor knew he could give her a blessing but the Holy Spirit told him not to.
The College Professor told his student, "No, I don’t feel I should give you this blessing. You need to ask your father for the blessings". The student couldn’t believe what she had just heard! Her Professor and friend knew her dad, knew he wasn’t "worthy" and she left mad. However, later that week she decided she was going to ask her dad for the blessing. She gathered her courage, and that afternoon she walked into the living room where her dad sat in his favorite chair watching a ball game with a beer in his hand. She gathered her courage and said, "Dad, I need you to give me a blessing". Her father stared at her for a moment, didn’t say a word, got up and turned the television off, .....and walked out of the room and left the house. That was a Saturday afternoon. The family did not see their father for the rest of that day and not even the next day. Then in the evening when they had gathered together for their family devotional (the mother always made sure this happened) the door opened and in walked her dad, all dressed up and asked his daughter if she still wanted that blessing! The room became silent!!
She later said that he may not have given her the most profound blessing she’d ever heard but the spirit-inside him was so strong! That was only the beginning. Her dad from that point on, turned his life around and received Jesus in his heart. Years went by and He served many years as Pastor in that same church...all because one daughter had courage enough to say DAD WILL YOU GIVE ME A DAUGHTER'S BLESSING...he later died, and was considered an honorable man.
As a young man myself, we never know the influence we can have in our homes and in our family... whether we come from a christian, or even non-Christain home, whether dis-functional or functional. We need to be willing to let the spirit inside us touch the lives of those around us. We never know what one request or one word can do for a person, that including our parents.
When I think about this story, I'm reminded of how much I loved it when I heard it. I hope it will help or give you the inspiration to say the right things to your parents. As a leader and teacher in my local church, I have to be mindful of my role in the lives of the children, and younger listeners, even those older than me, for I know they too listen to the heart-spoken words I say.
We have to realize that no matter what age, what color or race we are, the Bible encourages us to always show honor and respect to our parents and leaders, so that our lives can become prosperous, and well-lived. We can help turn hearts to the unity-of-family as we follow the example of Christ's Holy Word. We have to maintain a level of Mature Positive Thinking, and engage our hearts to hear and know the voice of the Lord, to respond the way HE does. This College Professor was not self-righteous but instead humbled himself to listen to the Holy Spirit, which is essential for us as believers to do.
Think about a way you can BLESS YOUR FATHER on HIS CELEBRATING DAY!
To all the Dad's - HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
I love you deeply!
Dg
Hardship of Knowing who you are!
For days now, my heart has been burdened by a few things. Some in which include a few individuals I know that may be tampering with the homosexual idea, or even attempting to live in the lifestyle. The ache in my heart, troubles me, as I know the life way too well.
In deep thought, what is the answer to who we are? Theoretically speaking, it's hard enough trying to figure out what is my true, real identity. The question I get all the time is, why am I so different? How do I respond?
Well, for many of us the word "different" goes back to earliest childood. Translated, it always meant "inferior" or "less than." As we say over and over again, homosexuality is to a great extent an identity problem, and for most of us, one of the first identities we had was "different," and this grew into 'less than" and eventually into "homosexual."
"You are different." "You will never measure up." "You can't do what other men (women) do."
Most of us know that overcoming homosexuality involves our taking on a new identity, and that this encompasses more than that we stop identifying ourselves as gay. It means a much deeper change in how we see ourselves and how we feel about ourselves. It means a change at the core of our being that will eventually enable us to respond spontaneously to the world around us a man or woman, not as a homosexual.
This change in identity is also more than just grasping a spiritual truth -- although it is that. God did create me to be heterosexual, and through Jesus Christ my heterosexuality is restored. This is true, and for many overcomers the realization of this truth is a great milestone in the healing process. But we are not unreasonable to expect that a spiritual truth will eventually manifest itself in our experiences as living, breathing human beings. God created us as flesh and blood beings; in the act of redeeming us He became incarnate, taking on our form. Our redemption is not just a spiritual thing, it encompasses our bodies, and souls as well as as our spirit, and thus it encompasses our identities.
In seeking a change in identity, we are seeking one of the most profound changes a man or woman can experience. Our whole central point of reference changes. From the perspective how we see ourselves, we do truly become new creatures. How do we do this? How can we help the process along?
First, I think we need to look at where our identity as men and women comes from. Then, what reinforces and sustains that identity, and finally, if our identity is broken or distorted, how we can replace the old identity with a new one.
In discussing where our identity comes from we start, of course, with the great truth that we are who God says we are. He has told us that He created us male and female, in His image, and that at the beginning He pronounced us good. Our problem, however, is not that we don't already know this, but that we don't experience it. My point in this article is not to hammer in this truth, but to help you make it a reality by discussing what went wrong after our particular creation, and then getting into how we can come back to the point at which our creation as male and female seems real to us.
God assigned to our parents a primary responsibility and authority to give us our identity, in effect to define us. From our mothers we were to be given a sense of being, and from our fathers our identity as men and women. But for those of us who became homosexual, something went wrong -- in the message that was delivered to us, in the way we received it, or in there being static or confusion surrounding us that distorted the message.
Whatever the cause -- be it confusion or the wrong message having been sent or received -- many of us as adults still live under the power of these early messages. Spoken or demonstrated, real or only in the perceptions of the child, the voice of the parent inside us still declares our lack of worth or manhood or womanhood; our incompetence or inadequacies.
Having received a wrong or confused message from parents, we were off to a bad start. We were ripe to have our broken identity reinforced by others who would be a part of our world. Often most likely to reinforce the fact that we were different, because they were likely the most insensitive, were our peers. We perceived this recognition as rejection--and maybe it was. Often this was painful enough to cause us to withdraw from the world of other little boys or little girls, and so for many isolation set in.
All of us engage in self talk, so the next voice we heard was our own. "I'm different; I will never be able to..." Finally, sensing a weakness, the enemy knew he had a place to establish a foothold. His voice was added to the others. The great accuser joined the chorus to declare that, "You are not like other men (women)."
And so many of us grew up still listening to the voices that declared our brokenness. We continued to give authority to parents, to peers, and to the enemy himself to define who we are.
Some of us, confused and uncertain about our identity, give to others the authority to define who we are. Because of my father's inability to help impart his male identity to me and to help me eventually become my own person, I was who my mother said I was. When people marry that deal with this issue, it is easy to transfer that authority to their wife, and trust me, they won't grasp it; because they thrust it upon them. The husbands tend to give their wife the authority to define who they are and then the husbands live with fear and resentment towards her. Not a very good situation in which to develop one's manhood.
If we are to hear (in our deepest hearts) who God says we are, we are going to have to silence the other voices. I offer three ways of doing this.
First, we consciously and prayerfully, before God, declare that we are no longer who our parents or peers or others said we were. We revoke the authority we gave them to define us. Parents had this authority rightfully in our early childhood, but through normal growth and separation we should have cast that off. We need to do that now.
Second, we need to change our self talk. By this I don't mean we take on some sort of "positive confession" whereby I declare I am healed while I still have a temperature of one hundred and three. No, we carefully and objectively analyze our self talk and wherever it is factually false, we replace it with the truth. If I am the lead male dancer in the Washington ballet, yes I am different -- praise the Lord -- but that doesn't mean I don't measure up as a man. If I am a woman and I am not comfortable with a certain type of man, that's unfortunate and maybe I need to do something about it, but that doesn't mean I am not fully a woman. Don't spiritualize here; don't say what you don't really believe. Just declare the truth as you see it, and your true identity will start to emerge.
Finally, we need to silence the voice of the accuser of the faithful. His message is often disguised as he somehow gains access to our minds and changes the message from, "You are not a man." to "I am not a man." I often have difficulty discerning whether the negative message I receive comes from the devil or from the remnants of my own brokenness. I find, however, it isn't necessary to differentiate. I simply state, "I reject that message in the name of Jesus, I command the voice of the enemy to be silent, and I declare that I am who Jesus says I am." That does it.
These efforts to take authority away from those who no longer have the right to define who we are can really work, but they are going to come up against two obstacles that need to be addressed.
The first obstacle is that we all experience a lag between our intellectual acceptance of a truth and our knowing that truth in a deeper sense; knowing it in a way that will change our emotional responses. Thus the wife who had a hyper-critical husband for many years, after he has repented and turned completely from his criticism, is likely to continue seeing him as critical for months -- even years -- after the change has taken place. Our perception of change always lags behind reality. Thus we will need patience as our perception of ourselves lags behind the intellectual truth that we recognize when we revoke the authority of others to define us and as we silence the negative messages.
A second obstacle may lie in low self-esteem; especially if that low self-esteem is rooted in infancy or earlier. Low self- esteem is a common root of homosexuality, and it may provide a filter through which we view all reality. It may fight every effort to silence the old voices and to tune into the voice of Jesus, and it may be beyond our strength to do any thing about it. If so, this is an area for prayer and healing. This may be one of the obstacles that each of us confronts on our way out of homosexuality that Jesus will have to lift us over. He will do it.
So in summary, we come into our new identity by silencing the old voices so that we can hear the voice of the One who created us and who has the rightful authority to define who we are. The three elements of this process are our efforts, the healing power of Jesus Christ, and patience. He will bring to completion the work He has started.
Maybe this can help! Consider Please. For more information, please email or message me anytime.
I love you deeply
Dg
In deep thought, what is the answer to who we are? Theoretically speaking, it's hard enough trying to figure out what is my true, real identity. The question I get all the time is, why am I so different? How do I respond?
Well, for many of us the word "different" goes back to earliest childood. Translated, it always meant "inferior" or "less than." As we say over and over again, homosexuality is to a great extent an identity problem, and for most of us, one of the first identities we had was "different," and this grew into 'less than" and eventually into "homosexual."
"You are different." "You will never measure up." "You can't do what other men (women) do."
Most of us know that overcoming homosexuality involves our taking on a new identity, and that this encompasses more than that we stop identifying ourselves as gay. It means a much deeper change in how we see ourselves and how we feel about ourselves. It means a change at the core of our being that will eventually enable us to respond spontaneously to the world around us a man or woman, not as a homosexual.
This change in identity is also more than just grasping a spiritual truth -- although it is that. God did create me to be heterosexual, and through Jesus Christ my heterosexuality is restored. This is true, and for many overcomers the realization of this truth is a great milestone in the healing process. But we are not unreasonable to expect that a spiritual truth will eventually manifest itself in our experiences as living, breathing human beings. God created us as flesh and blood beings; in the act of redeeming us He became incarnate, taking on our form. Our redemption is not just a spiritual thing, it encompasses our bodies, and souls as well as as our spirit, and thus it encompasses our identities.
In seeking a change in identity, we are seeking one of the most profound changes a man or woman can experience. Our whole central point of reference changes. From the perspective how we see ourselves, we do truly become new creatures. How do we do this? How can we help the process along?
First, I think we need to look at where our identity as men and women comes from. Then, what reinforces and sustains that identity, and finally, if our identity is broken or distorted, how we can replace the old identity with a new one.
In discussing where our identity comes from we start, of course, with the great truth that we are who God says we are. He has told us that He created us male and female, in His image, and that at the beginning He pronounced us good. Our problem, however, is not that we don't already know this, but that we don't experience it. My point in this article is not to hammer in this truth, but to help you make it a reality by discussing what went wrong after our particular creation, and then getting into how we can come back to the point at which our creation as male and female seems real to us.
God assigned to our parents a primary responsibility and authority to give us our identity, in effect to define us. From our mothers we were to be given a sense of being, and from our fathers our identity as men and women. But for those of us who became homosexual, something went wrong -- in the message that was delivered to us, in the way we received it, or in there being static or confusion surrounding us that distorted the message.
Whatever the cause -- be it confusion or the wrong message having been sent or received -- many of us as adults still live under the power of these early messages. Spoken or demonstrated, real or only in the perceptions of the child, the voice of the parent inside us still declares our lack of worth or manhood or womanhood; our incompetence or inadequacies.
Having received a wrong or confused message from parents, we were off to a bad start. We were ripe to have our broken identity reinforced by others who would be a part of our world. Often most likely to reinforce the fact that we were different, because they were likely the most insensitive, were our peers. We perceived this recognition as rejection--and maybe it was. Often this was painful enough to cause us to withdraw from the world of other little boys or little girls, and so for many isolation set in.
All of us engage in self talk, so the next voice we heard was our own. "I'm different; I will never be able to..." Finally, sensing a weakness, the enemy knew he had a place to establish a foothold. His voice was added to the others. The great accuser joined the chorus to declare that, "You are not like other men (women)."
And so many of us grew up still listening to the voices that declared our brokenness. We continued to give authority to parents, to peers, and to the enemy himself to define who we are.
Some of us, confused and uncertain about our identity, give to others the authority to define who we are. Because of my father's inability to help impart his male identity to me and to help me eventually become my own person, I was who my mother said I was. When people marry that deal with this issue, it is easy to transfer that authority to their wife, and trust me, they won't grasp it; because they thrust it upon them. The husbands tend to give their wife the authority to define who they are and then the husbands live with fear and resentment towards her. Not a very good situation in which to develop one's manhood.
If we are to hear (in our deepest hearts) who God says we are, we are going to have to silence the other voices. I offer three ways of doing this.
First, we consciously and prayerfully, before God, declare that we are no longer who our parents or peers or others said we were. We revoke the authority we gave them to define us. Parents had this authority rightfully in our early childhood, but through normal growth and separation we should have cast that off. We need to do that now.
Second, we need to change our self talk. By this I don't mean we take on some sort of "positive confession" whereby I declare I am healed while I still have a temperature of one hundred and three. No, we carefully and objectively analyze our self talk and wherever it is factually false, we replace it with the truth. If I am the lead male dancer in the Washington ballet, yes I am different -- praise the Lord -- but that doesn't mean I don't measure up as a man. If I am a woman and I am not comfortable with a certain type of man, that's unfortunate and maybe I need to do something about it, but that doesn't mean I am not fully a woman. Don't spiritualize here; don't say what you don't really believe. Just declare the truth as you see it, and your true identity will start to emerge.
Finally, we need to silence the voice of the accuser of the faithful. His message is often disguised as he somehow gains access to our minds and changes the message from, "You are not a man." to "I am not a man." I often have difficulty discerning whether the negative message I receive comes from the devil or from the remnants of my own brokenness. I find, however, it isn't necessary to differentiate. I simply state, "I reject that message in the name of Jesus, I command the voice of the enemy to be silent, and I declare that I am who Jesus says I am." That does it.
These efforts to take authority away from those who no longer have the right to define who we are can really work, but they are going to come up against two obstacles that need to be addressed.
The first obstacle is that we all experience a lag between our intellectual acceptance of a truth and our knowing that truth in a deeper sense; knowing it in a way that will change our emotional responses. Thus the wife who had a hyper-critical husband for many years, after he has repented and turned completely from his criticism, is likely to continue seeing him as critical for months -- even years -- after the change has taken place. Our perception of change always lags behind reality. Thus we will need patience as our perception of ourselves lags behind the intellectual truth that we recognize when we revoke the authority of others to define us and as we silence the negative messages.
A second obstacle may lie in low self-esteem; especially if that low self-esteem is rooted in infancy or earlier. Low self- esteem is a common root of homosexuality, and it may provide a filter through which we view all reality. It may fight every effort to silence the old voices and to tune into the voice of Jesus, and it may be beyond our strength to do any thing about it. If so, this is an area for prayer and healing. This may be one of the obstacles that each of us confronts on our way out of homosexuality that Jesus will have to lift us over. He will do it.
So in summary, we come into our new identity by silencing the old voices so that we can hear the voice of the One who created us and who has the rightful authority to define who we are. The three elements of this process are our efforts, the healing power of Jesus Christ, and patience. He will bring to completion the work He has started.
Maybe this can help! Consider Please. For more information, please email or message me anytime.
I love you deeply
Dg
Inner Peace
You know, as time passes by, the disturbing thought of my heart aches in all that is happening. With tragic news of a family from our church being killed, makes my mind go crazy. However the inner peace and assurance of a wonderful Savior gives me hope to stand. The word says:
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." (John 14:27 NASB)
It's all over the news today. To be honest, It is not a pretty world out there. Frankly I think earth has not been pretty since Adam and Eve forfeited their right to Eden. Read the headlines today all sort of crises are occurring:
Husband convicted of Murdering his Wife and Two Sons.
Centenarian financial institutions going bankrupt
North Korea may already have nuclear warheads
Russia orders upgrade of its nuclear deterrent
Tainted milk scare spreading from China to Japan
US bailout plan for economy
Looking at these few headlines we have, Christianity in Crises, financial, war, and health crises occurring simultaneously around us. How can anyone maintain any level of peace and harmony in such a chaotic world?
It makes me realize we have a promise of peace that Jesus gave His disciples and to all of us who believe. (John 14:27). The peace Jesus was speaking of comes from the Holy Spirit that each believer should have within them. The Holy Spirit or The Comforter, as Jesus calls it, brings us the peace we need to withstand this world of chaos.
As you can see this peace is a spiritual peace and once within us it shows through our lives. When it is within us, it shows outwardly in our lives. We become that light on the hill, a beacon that others are drawn to. Others are drawn to us because the peace within us pours out on others around us when we let it shine and share it. When we share it we are bringing harmony amidst the chaos of the world around us.
Just think of the times, when we have either given solace to a co-worker, gave someone food to eat, shared our personal testimonies, or shared the message of God's Word to others. All of those things and quite a few others bring comfort, hope, and sometimes unity to others who feel the bleakness of the world around them. We are to use the peace Jesus gives us to light up the world where we go bringing a little harmony to the lives of those we minister to in our walk in Jesus.
"I will not speak much more with you, for the ruler of the world is coming, and he has nothing in Me; but so that the world may know that I love the Father, I do exactly as the Father commanded Me Get up, let us go from here." - John 14:30-31 NASB
Jesus told us that the ruler of the world is coming, some may say that he is already here, Satan. Satan has nothing in Jesus, therefore we are to bring to the world what it is lacking. Harmony amidst chaos. Bring Jesus to the World.
Just sharing my heart, as I am burdened about a few things!
I love you friends. We are in this together! Let's keep up the good work of the Lord. Living to be a Light, an Influence to a broken and hurting world!
I love you deeply!
Dg
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." (John 14:27 NASB)
It's all over the news today. To be honest, It is not a pretty world out there. Frankly I think earth has not been pretty since Adam and Eve forfeited their right to Eden. Read the headlines today all sort of crises are occurring:
Husband convicted of Murdering his Wife and Two Sons.
Centenarian financial institutions going bankrupt
North Korea may already have nuclear warheads
Russia orders upgrade of its nuclear deterrent
Tainted milk scare spreading from China to Japan
US bailout plan for economy
Looking at these few headlines we have, Christianity in Crises, financial, war, and health crises occurring simultaneously around us. How can anyone maintain any level of peace and harmony in such a chaotic world?
It makes me realize we have a promise of peace that Jesus gave His disciples and to all of us who believe. (John 14:27). The peace Jesus was speaking of comes from the Holy Spirit that each believer should have within them. The Holy Spirit or The Comforter, as Jesus calls it, brings us the peace we need to withstand this world of chaos.
As you can see this peace is a spiritual peace and once within us it shows through our lives. When it is within us, it shows outwardly in our lives. We become that light on the hill, a beacon that others are drawn to. Others are drawn to us because the peace within us pours out on others around us when we let it shine and share it. When we share it we are bringing harmony amidst the chaos of the world around us.
Just think of the times, when we have either given solace to a co-worker, gave someone food to eat, shared our personal testimonies, or shared the message of God's Word to others. All of those things and quite a few others bring comfort, hope, and sometimes unity to others who feel the bleakness of the world around them. We are to use the peace Jesus gives us to light up the world where we go bringing a little harmony to the lives of those we minister to in our walk in Jesus.
"I will not speak much more with you, for the ruler of the world is coming, and he has nothing in Me; but so that the world may know that I love the Father, I do exactly as the Father commanded Me Get up, let us go from here." - John 14:30-31 NASB
Jesus told us that the ruler of the world is coming, some may say that he is already here, Satan. Satan has nothing in Jesus, therefore we are to bring to the world what it is lacking. Harmony amidst chaos. Bring Jesus to the World.
Just sharing my heart, as I am burdened about a few things!
I love you friends. We are in this together! Let's keep up the good work of the Lord. Living to be a Light, an Influence to a broken and hurting world!
I love you deeply!
Dg
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Dealing w/Issues - How to let go
Have you ever asked your yourself, How can I let go? Completely? I mean, letting go of it all, the pain, the hurt, the abuse, the slander? For believer's the excuse is always God. However, though a true statement, what about the rest of the world, searching for the same answer to much similar questions. Believe it or not, I tend to embrace a positive mental way of thinking, embracing a new wave of change, and in my positive view, God the Father, enables me to discover new avenues of letting go of my past and life issues, along with traumatic experiences in life.
The path to freedom, health and happiness, I find, is often not a path of gaining, but of removal. The world often encourages us to obtain, attain, grow and accumulate. In my heart,and in my own search for on-going freedom, health and happiness, I have discovered and have been trying to figure out a way that explores the very freeing process of letting go. Personally, I think it's a great secret for making room for more wonderful things to come in my own life, and I know yours, if you just believe. Let's talk about it.
- Living Habits
Dysfunctional living habits offer temporary relief, but add stress and strain in the long run. They may include staying up too late at night, taking on too many obligations or avoiding exercise. Others include eating too much, skipping meals, drinking too much coffee or alcohol, smoking too much, eating too much junk food or sugar, getting upset over trifles or taking stimulants or depressants instead of addressing deeper causes of unhappiness.
To let go of these habits first requires a commitment to your self. You are worth the effort! Often, a good solution is to substitute better habits. For example, instead of staying up late, record that late television show, drink calming herb tea to help you slow down, decide you will not start projects after dinnertime and start preparing for bed early.
To avoid accepting too many obligations, set aside time periods on your calendar that are just for you - for meals, exercise, long baths or another favorite recreation or activity. Be very reluctant to give up these time slots for anyone or anything.
In particular, set aside time for rest, to breathe deeply, to play and to have peaceful, sit-down meals. This includes setting aside enough time to shop for food and to prepare meals with love. Eating is not something to squeeze in between appointments. Especially avoid eating in your car, or while conducting business at your office. Establishing these simple habits will influence all others. The rewards in your health will more than compensate for the time taken to focus on these simple good habits.
I have to talk about this, If you tend to overdo on alcohol, coffee, sugar, junk food or medications, there are many ways to shift your habits. Getting enough rest and sleep, eating better and exercising regularly will assist in reducing cravings, this I am working on myself. Let me encourage you, don't keep tempting foods, beverages or drugs in your environment. Ask for cooperation from those around you. Keep better quality foods on hand at all times for when temptation arises. Experiment with alternatives. Sometimes support groups and professional help are also excellent.
When you endeavor to change any habit, do so in the spirit of celebration, not from need. The spirit of celebration means that you have already overcome it in your mind. You just need a little help to work out the details. This is a far cry from feeling you are a wretched victim of some habit and that someone or some therapy is needed to "fix" you.
Another trick for letting go of unwanted habits is to regularly treat yourself to activities and therapies that balance and enhance mind and body.This has personally helped me as I have embraced Yoga recently, however I encourage to consider some or one of these, in which may include energy balancing, martial arts, yoga, exercise classes, body work, hiking, gardening and more. Seek balance and harmony in every aspect of life. Separate the important from the unimportant, the essential from the non-essential. Live in a quiet location, surrounded by natural beauty. Remember that the body follows the mind. Do not focus too much on physical symptoms and conditions without also addressing more subtle causes. Often physical symptoms are best seen as conversations your body is having with you. This is a much more wholesome and in fact more true understanding of many symptoms.
- Emotions & Beliefs
Examples of obsolete beliefs include fear, resentment, guilt, remorse, excessive seriousness, and judgments expressed as ‘shoulds’, ‘oughts’, ‘musts’ and ‘have tos’.
These familiar bedfellows have a way of hanging around and really getting in the way of having a good time. Often one is not even aware of their presence in the deep recesses of the mind. Good friends who tell you the truth about yourself can be helpful here. Also, using certain affirmations are helpful. The purpose of an affirmation is to bring up all thoughts that are unlike the affirmation. For example, the affirmation, "I choose fearlessness" will accelerate or bring up all thoughts of fear within you. Affirmations are not intended to be used for brainwashing.
In spite of the best intentions, old belief patterns often continue to come up for a while, especially if one is in the habit of indulging them. Just denying them usually won't make them go away. Instead, letting go means to notice them, but don't allow them to make a home in your mind. Notice them, bless them and see them as a relic of a dead past. Turn them over to Jesus Christ / The Higher Power. Take a walk, take a nap or otherwise shift your focus and let them go. You do have a choice which emotions and thoughts you will entertain in your mind. It takes some practice, but the old thoughts will begin to lose their hold on you.
Try entertaining really positive thoughts instead, such as that only love is real and I am the expression of love in this world of form. Just try these ideas on for size. At first they may seem outrageous. With practice, they become more comfortable. Eventually you will wonder why you believed otherwise for so many years.
If friends or family continually remind you of the old fears and angers, it is fine to tell them thanks, but you are not interested any more. It is alright to say you have decided to be that which you would spread to others. You figured out that anger and fear heal nothing, and only hurt the one who harbors them. In letting go of judgments about others, it may help to realize that we don't often see the big picture, and we don't really know what is best for others. We don't even know when and how we were created.
As you explore letting go, it often helps to remember that "I am in the right place at the right time". Also, I am my brother's keeper. However, this means setting an example, not nagging, manipulating, complaining, comparing or doing for others what. Comparing always leads to unhappiness. Instead, why not just show up as you wish others to be? It is a lot more fun than trying to make everyone and everything else conform to your desires.
Letting go also applies to the jaded fear-based and ego-based voices that often whisper in our ears, and serve only to confuse and hold us back. Identifying these false voices and learning to ignore them gets easier with practice.
Letting go may involve questioning every belief system you have ever been taught. Ask yourself, does this belief fit the reality that I am loved by the Creator & Savior of the world infinitely more than I can imagine? Questioning belief systems does not mean rebelling for rebellion's sake. There's a lot of that around. It just wastes energy and causes distress. Just allow yourself to question and allow the answers to be revealed.
- Excuses
Excuses dis-empower you. Let this idea sink in deeply. Excuses imply that you were a victim of circumstances and therefore you are powerless and not responsible for your actions. They may make you seem more innocent, but really they just dis-empower you. The opposite of making excuses is to take full responsibility. That is not a popular way to be today, but it is a valuable concept. The main reason for taking responsibility is that it is so empowering.
It is very empowering to know one is here by choice, and not simply a victim of circumstances. Life's circumstances are our playground, not our master.
Practicing letting go will cause amazing life changes - sometimes very quickly. All kinds of problems may improve, and life becomes much simpler and happier. Why is this so? Because the old thoughts and attitudes created the problems in the first place. This is a most important principle. Your present situation is the result of your past thoughts and attitudes to greater extent than you might imagine. Change your thoughts, habits and attitudes and over time your entire life will change. The amazing changes that occur can be hard to believe.You have to have to have faith, and put your faith into action.
- Accepting & Allowing
Once you have set your intention to let go of outmoded beliefs and excuses that serve no good purpose, the next step is to allow and accept new beliefs and principles. How about resolving to accept all the love of Christ Jesus into your life? Often this is the hardest thing in the world to do. We are so used to striving and straining to get what we want that the idea of simply allowing and accepting seems difficult.
Expressed in different terms, grace is not dependent on works. It is undeserved and unearned. It is like the sun that shines on everyone equally, regardless of their thoughts, actions and past behavior. Allowing and accepting may be unfamiliar words, and even less familiar ways of living. Yet living by grace works, often much better than the old way of struggle and striving.
Another new principle for many people is to consciously choose to be at peace. Let's talk about that.
- Choosing Peace
Choosing peace means learning to be at peace within all the time. It does not mean denying your anger, fear or upset. It means observing them, expressing them when appropriate, and then letting them go. It does not mean being a doormat or avoiding confrontation. It means learning how to communicate effectively and acting boldly at times but not from anger.
It does not mean protesting all defense spending - a legitimate function of the federal government. Nor does not mean to be a pacifist. Sometimes an action of another demands a forceful response. It means to be at peace inside yourself even if you are in a fight. I personally believe this attitude will influence our government and everyone else to the ends of the earth.
A wonderful phrase to practice is "I can be at peace with this" (no matter what 'this' is). It is possible to be at peace even in the midst of chaos and war. There are stories of people who achieve this. Your peace or lack thereof always affects those around you. When you choose peace within, others see that they too have a choice. If you continue to be caught up in outer events, others have no model or example to help them avoid being caught up in these events.
- Friends & Relationships
In the process of letting go, allowing and accepting new things into your life, relationships are bound to change. This is a delicate area in this day of easy divorce and little loyalty to family and friends. Divorce and leaving friends or family can be the easy way out - a substitute for examining deeper patterns of thought and behavior that lead to discord and disharmony. Our instant-gratification, throw-away culture at times affects us all.
On the other hand, at times friends, family members or partners may dishonor you by dishonoring their contracts and agreements with you. They may refuse to take responsibility for themselves and insist that you take responsibility for their happiness. They may be absolutely committed to unhappiness or anger. At these times, the most loving action may be to recall that all who love are joined at the level of the mind, but that physical separation is sometimes needed.
In other cases, another may not dishonor you, but you may realize that your focus or level of living is different from theirs. It is not a judgment, just an observation. Staying with them may mean you must stay at or near their level, which can cause depression and illness in a sensitive person. With great compassion you may realize you cannot maintain your integrity and keep living as another would wish, although it may seem perfectly fine to outsiders. Each situation is different. As with any important decision, ask for guidance and you will receive it. Seek God through this time, he will guide you through. I personally know this well.
In Conclusion, letting go of unwanted things, habits, attitudes beliefs and even people is an ongoing process for one who wishes to unfold spiritually. Allowing and accepting more of who you really are requires reflection and lots of compassion for oneself.
As much as possible, enjoy it and celebrate the process. Dance and play often. Worship and Praise. Know that all things are conspiring (breathing together) for your good. Stand on the true Promise, of The Higher Power/Christ Jesus, and Live in his attitude.
I love you deeply!
Dg
The path to freedom, health and happiness, I find, is often not a path of gaining, but of removal. The world often encourages us to obtain, attain, grow and accumulate. In my heart,and in my own search for on-going freedom, health and happiness, I have discovered and have been trying to figure out a way that explores the very freeing process of letting go. Personally, I think it's a great secret for making room for more wonderful things to come in my own life, and I know yours, if you just believe. Let's talk about it.
- Living Habits
Dysfunctional living habits offer temporary relief, but add stress and strain in the long run. They may include staying up too late at night, taking on too many obligations or avoiding exercise. Others include eating too much, skipping meals, drinking too much coffee or alcohol, smoking too much, eating too much junk food or sugar, getting upset over trifles or taking stimulants or depressants instead of addressing deeper causes of unhappiness.
To let go of these habits first requires a commitment to your self. You are worth the effort! Often, a good solution is to substitute better habits. For example, instead of staying up late, record that late television show, drink calming herb tea to help you slow down, decide you will not start projects after dinnertime and start preparing for bed early.
To avoid accepting too many obligations, set aside time periods on your calendar that are just for you - for meals, exercise, long baths or another favorite recreation or activity. Be very reluctant to give up these time slots for anyone or anything.
In particular, set aside time for rest, to breathe deeply, to play and to have peaceful, sit-down meals. This includes setting aside enough time to shop for food and to prepare meals with love. Eating is not something to squeeze in between appointments. Especially avoid eating in your car, or while conducting business at your office. Establishing these simple habits will influence all others. The rewards in your health will more than compensate for the time taken to focus on these simple good habits.
I have to talk about this, If you tend to overdo on alcohol, coffee, sugar, junk food or medications, there are many ways to shift your habits. Getting enough rest and sleep, eating better and exercising regularly will assist in reducing cravings, this I am working on myself. Let me encourage you, don't keep tempting foods, beverages or drugs in your environment. Ask for cooperation from those around you. Keep better quality foods on hand at all times for when temptation arises. Experiment with alternatives. Sometimes support groups and professional help are also excellent.
When you endeavor to change any habit, do so in the spirit of celebration, not from need. The spirit of celebration means that you have already overcome it in your mind. You just need a little help to work out the details. This is a far cry from feeling you are a wretched victim of some habit and that someone or some therapy is needed to "fix" you.
Another trick for letting go of unwanted habits is to regularly treat yourself to activities and therapies that balance and enhance mind and body.This has personally helped me as I have embraced Yoga recently, however I encourage to consider some or one of these, in which may include energy balancing, martial arts, yoga, exercise classes, body work, hiking, gardening and more. Seek balance and harmony in every aspect of life. Separate the important from the unimportant, the essential from the non-essential. Live in a quiet location, surrounded by natural beauty. Remember that the body follows the mind. Do not focus too much on physical symptoms and conditions without also addressing more subtle causes. Often physical symptoms are best seen as conversations your body is having with you. This is a much more wholesome and in fact more true understanding of many symptoms.
- Emotions & Beliefs
Examples of obsolete beliefs include fear, resentment, guilt, remorse, excessive seriousness, and judgments expressed as ‘shoulds’, ‘oughts’, ‘musts’ and ‘have tos’.
These familiar bedfellows have a way of hanging around and really getting in the way of having a good time. Often one is not even aware of their presence in the deep recesses of the mind. Good friends who tell you the truth about yourself can be helpful here. Also, using certain affirmations are helpful. The purpose of an affirmation is to bring up all thoughts that are unlike the affirmation. For example, the affirmation, "I choose fearlessness" will accelerate or bring up all thoughts of fear within you. Affirmations are not intended to be used for brainwashing.
In spite of the best intentions, old belief patterns often continue to come up for a while, especially if one is in the habit of indulging them. Just denying them usually won't make them go away. Instead, letting go means to notice them, but don't allow them to make a home in your mind. Notice them, bless them and see them as a relic of a dead past. Turn them over to Jesus Christ / The Higher Power. Take a walk, take a nap or otherwise shift your focus and let them go. You do have a choice which emotions and thoughts you will entertain in your mind. It takes some practice, but the old thoughts will begin to lose their hold on you.
Try entertaining really positive thoughts instead, such as that only love is real and I am the expression of love in this world of form. Just try these ideas on for size. At first they may seem outrageous. With practice, they become more comfortable. Eventually you will wonder why you believed otherwise for so many years.
If friends or family continually remind you of the old fears and angers, it is fine to tell them thanks, but you are not interested any more. It is alright to say you have decided to be that which you would spread to others. You figured out that anger and fear heal nothing, and only hurt the one who harbors them. In letting go of judgments about others, it may help to realize that we don't often see the big picture, and we don't really know what is best for others. We don't even know when and how we were created.
As you explore letting go, it often helps to remember that "I am in the right place at the right time". Also, I am my brother's keeper. However, this means setting an example, not nagging, manipulating, complaining, comparing or doing for others what. Comparing always leads to unhappiness. Instead, why not just show up as you wish others to be? It is a lot more fun than trying to make everyone and everything else conform to your desires.
Letting go also applies to the jaded fear-based and ego-based voices that often whisper in our ears, and serve only to confuse and hold us back. Identifying these false voices and learning to ignore them gets easier with practice.
Letting go may involve questioning every belief system you have ever been taught. Ask yourself, does this belief fit the reality that I am loved by the Creator & Savior of the world infinitely more than I can imagine? Questioning belief systems does not mean rebelling for rebellion's sake. There's a lot of that around. It just wastes energy and causes distress. Just allow yourself to question and allow the answers to be revealed.
- Excuses
Excuses dis-empower you. Let this idea sink in deeply. Excuses imply that you were a victim of circumstances and therefore you are powerless and not responsible for your actions. They may make you seem more innocent, but really they just dis-empower you. The opposite of making excuses is to take full responsibility. That is not a popular way to be today, but it is a valuable concept. The main reason for taking responsibility is that it is so empowering.
It is very empowering to know one is here by choice, and not simply a victim of circumstances. Life's circumstances are our playground, not our master.
Practicing letting go will cause amazing life changes - sometimes very quickly. All kinds of problems may improve, and life becomes much simpler and happier. Why is this so? Because the old thoughts and attitudes created the problems in the first place. This is a most important principle. Your present situation is the result of your past thoughts and attitudes to greater extent than you might imagine. Change your thoughts, habits and attitudes and over time your entire life will change. The amazing changes that occur can be hard to believe.You have to have to have faith, and put your faith into action.
- Accepting & Allowing
Once you have set your intention to let go of outmoded beliefs and excuses that serve no good purpose, the next step is to allow and accept new beliefs and principles. How about resolving to accept all the love of Christ Jesus into your life? Often this is the hardest thing in the world to do. We are so used to striving and straining to get what we want that the idea of simply allowing and accepting seems difficult.
Expressed in different terms, grace is not dependent on works. It is undeserved and unearned. It is like the sun that shines on everyone equally, regardless of their thoughts, actions and past behavior. Allowing and accepting may be unfamiliar words, and even less familiar ways of living. Yet living by grace works, often much better than the old way of struggle and striving.
Another new principle for many people is to consciously choose to be at peace. Let's talk about that.
- Choosing Peace
Choosing peace means learning to be at peace within all the time. It does not mean denying your anger, fear or upset. It means observing them, expressing them when appropriate, and then letting them go. It does not mean being a doormat or avoiding confrontation. It means learning how to communicate effectively and acting boldly at times but not from anger.
It does not mean protesting all defense spending - a legitimate function of the federal government. Nor does not mean to be a pacifist. Sometimes an action of another demands a forceful response. It means to be at peace inside yourself even if you are in a fight. I personally believe this attitude will influence our government and everyone else to the ends of the earth.
A wonderful phrase to practice is "I can be at peace with this" (no matter what 'this' is). It is possible to be at peace even in the midst of chaos and war. There are stories of people who achieve this. Your peace or lack thereof always affects those around you. When you choose peace within, others see that they too have a choice. If you continue to be caught up in outer events, others have no model or example to help them avoid being caught up in these events.
- Friends & Relationships
In the process of letting go, allowing and accepting new things into your life, relationships are bound to change. This is a delicate area in this day of easy divorce and little loyalty to family and friends. Divorce and leaving friends or family can be the easy way out - a substitute for examining deeper patterns of thought and behavior that lead to discord and disharmony. Our instant-gratification, throw-away culture at times affects us all.
On the other hand, at times friends, family members or partners may dishonor you by dishonoring their contracts and agreements with you. They may refuse to take responsibility for themselves and insist that you take responsibility for their happiness. They may be absolutely committed to unhappiness or anger. At these times, the most loving action may be to recall that all who love are joined at the level of the mind, but that physical separation is sometimes needed.
In other cases, another may not dishonor you, but you may realize that your focus or level of living is different from theirs. It is not a judgment, just an observation. Staying with them may mean you must stay at or near their level, which can cause depression and illness in a sensitive person. With great compassion you may realize you cannot maintain your integrity and keep living as another would wish, although it may seem perfectly fine to outsiders. Each situation is different. As with any important decision, ask for guidance and you will receive it. Seek God through this time, he will guide you through. I personally know this well.
In Conclusion, letting go of unwanted things, habits, attitudes beliefs and even people is an ongoing process for one who wishes to unfold spiritually. Allowing and accepting more of who you really are requires reflection and lots of compassion for oneself.
As much as possible, enjoy it and celebrate the process. Dance and play often. Worship and Praise. Know that all things are conspiring (breathing together) for your good. Stand on the true Promise, of The Higher Power/Christ Jesus, and Live in his attitude.
I love you deeply!
Dg
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Homosexuality - Christian Approach
I have been super thrilled in preparation to link an partner with Exodus International. Today I received an amazing call that can possibly link us together sooner than I anticipated. In much anticipation, I thought I would finally get this done.
I have been working on this for sometime now, and have tried to really focus in on the do's and don't of how to deal with, or help the ssa (same-sex attracted) individual. How do I approach the issue? Are we/they demon possessed? Is it a conduct disorder? Is it an alternative lifestyle? What is the true resolution?, if one? I am not saying that I am gay, however, having gone through the process of questioning myself for many years, how can we see through Scripture and psychological conclusions.
From a Christian perspective we can deal with the theme of "homosexuality" from these three viewpoints: as demon possession, as a conduct disorder, and as an alternative lifestyle. In this note, I will be presenting the three approaches: their conceptual basis, their Biblical foundation, their prognosis and resolution, and a brief evaluation of each position.
Homosexuality and Demon Possession
This first approach perceives homosexuality as caused by demons. It is understood that demons still exist today and their mere existence provides an explanation for many of the problems that people face. "Demonic spirits can invade and live in human bodies... upon indwelling a person, they take advantage of that person... when the demons indwell an individual, the person 'has' or 'is possessed by' demons" (Hammond & Hammond, 1973).
The expression "demon-possessed" seems to have created a lot of confusion through the centuries. In ancient Greece, there was the word daimonizomai, which meant "demonized" or "to have demons," whereas possession had the connotation of complete ownership. This difference becomes significant when the argument of whether or not Christians can have demons is added to the controversy.
Hammond & Hammond (1973) make this observation in order to clarify that even though Christians truly can have demons, they cannot be demon-possessed nor be "owned/possessed" by them since their ownership is already in Christ. Demons in a Christian's life can be no more than "tenants" or invaders that must be confronted and cast out.
According to this approach, the following beliefs are held:
1) There are demons.
2) They can invade people.
Some Christian circles allow the possibility that Christians can also have demons (although they cannot be possessed by them), while other groups do not allow this as the "body is the temple of the Holy Spirit" (I Cor. 6:19) and there can be no communion between light and darkness in one person's body.
Hammond (1973) also states that there are also distinct types of demons. They list 53 groups of demons (pp. 113-115) which include spirits of bitterness, rebellion, envy, depression, sexual impurity (which include those of homosexuality), and death.
As I commented above, there are circles which believe that homosexuality is caused by the presence of a demon in the person's body. The spirit of homosexuality (or lesbianism) would be the cause of such behavior, therefore the root would be spiritual and not of an emotional and/or psychological origin. Also its resolution must be the result of a spiritual nature.
This Christian approach is more common among members of more conservative churches, particularly Pentecostals and those that embrace the concept of "spiritual warfare."
Homosexuality as Conduct Disorder
This is the position most widely held by Christian psychologists and therapists. It holds that homosexuality is caused by childhood trauma(s) which impedes a person's appropriate psycho-sexual development.
Dr. Elizabeth Moberley (1983) states in her book that the individual suffers from a lack of identification with the same-sex parent and that, upon entering puberty, the unsatisfied childhood needs are eroticized, which results in the individual seeking to fulfill these legitimate needs with people of the same gender. This would explain the lack of emotional maturity found in many people that suffer from such difficulties of sexual orientation, since an important aspect of their personality was not fully developed.
Within this approach, homosexual behavior is perceived as sinful, but Collins (1980) makes a significant distinction: the difference between homosexual behavior (where homosexual acts are practiced) and homosexual orientation (where there exists an attraction for persons of the same sex, but there is no practice of homosexual acts; in fact, there are situations where the person rejects such feelings and desires).
Collins recognizes that the practice of homosexual acts is sinful, since the Bible already clearly condemns such behavior (Gen. 19:1-11; Lev. 18:22; Judges 19:22-25; Rom. 1:25-27; I Cor. 6:9; I Tim. 1:9-10. There are four Biblical passages that deal with homosexuality in the context of male prostitution: Deut. 23:17; I Kings 14:24; 15:12; II Kings 23:7.)
On the other hand, Collins states that in no place does the Bible condemn homosexual orientation, although fostering fantasies and homosexual thoughts can lead an individual to commit the sin of lust (in the same way that this occurs with heterosexual persons). This difference is very important for those who counsel individuals struggling with difficulties in their sexual orientation because it offers them a "shelter" from Biblical condemnation during the transition that healing entails.
Struggling individuals have no power over what was done to them as children (which produces the orientation) but they do have power over their acts (practice of homosexual behavior). This gives the client a "safe place" which allows the psychotherapy or counseling to become fruitful. Now the focus of the condemnation is not on who the person is, but on the behavior, over which he or she has control.
Collins (1980) also mentions another difference: He identifies circumstantial homosexuals, those that engage in temporary homosexual activity because their sexual partners of the opposite sex are not available (for example, prisoners or soldiers).
In this approach, a clear, unique cause for homosexuality cannot be identified, but it dismisses the popular idea that it has genetic, biological, or congenital roots (Evans and Collins, 1980: 319).
There are several theories about the development of homosexuality. The one most accepted today by people who work directly with those leaving the gay lifestyle is the one explained above: that there exists a lack of identification with the parent of the same gender (the son with the father; the daughter with the mother), the child does not develop the appropriate sexual role, and when behavior becomes eroticized upon entering puberty, the object of sexual desire remains linked to the need for the approval and affirmation of the same-sex parent.
Collins also notes other possible causes: father-son relationships where the family dynamics are dysfunctional; family relationships with histories of distrust, sexual abuse and/or incest, unhealthy bonds of control, etc.; fear caused by traumatic experiences with the opposite sex (rape, incest, being taught not to trust the opposite sex, lack of interaction with persons of the opposite sex during adolescence, etc.); conscientious choice of a homosexual lifestyle by persons who want to be "in fashion"; or those who have had a homosexual experience, and become vulnerable for such a lifestyle because they often think that because of having once had such an experience, they must be themselves homosexual or it wouldn't have happened to them.
Homosexuality as an Alternative Lifestyle
It may come as a surprise to Christians in some parts of the world, but the idea of being a Christian and an active homosexual is defended by many Christians, especially in the United States and Europe. Their understanding is that there is no Biblical condemnation for a "monogamous" and lasting homosexual relationship within the context of love and whose counterpart would be heterosexual marriage.
Biblically, the defense depends on the following statements (and here I summarize the position of Scanzoni and Mollenkott, 1980):
Referring to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, cities that were destroyed by God for their perversions (Gen. 19), (and from which the word sodomy originated); the authors comment that the foci of the condemnation are: the desire to practice violent homosexual acts with Lot's house guests; the lack of hospitality to foreigners. The condemnation described in Leviticus 18:12 forms part of the Code of Law for ancient Israel. If we were to obey all that is contained in it, we would have to prohibit women from dressing in men's clothing, wearing short hair, and having sexual intercourse during their menstrual period, nor would we be able to wear fabrics of mixed threads, nor eat meat which contains blood, etc. The authors of this perspective insist that such rules were given to keep the Israelites separated from their neighbors since many of the neighboring nations' religions included homosexual practices in their fertility rites. As such, the Jewish people were to avoid all type of idolatry and its practices.
The authors Scanzoni and Mollenkott (1980) present a long exposition of the first chapter of Romans, with respect to what is or is not natural: the social context of the age in which the apostle Paul was writing, and the use of certain words in the original Greek whose understanding, for the authors, is quite debatable. The basic idea, however, is that if homosexuality is "natural" for a certain it would be a sin to go against what is natural for the person.
At the same time, Scanzoni and Mollenkott insist upon the need of a conversion experience in order to enter the Kingdom of God, but state that such a decision does not automatically erase the homosexual orientation nor does it miraculously make a person heterosexual. Everyone (gay and straight) must fight against the "old nature."
In their book they also cite many studies that have been developed by homosexual persons who are not disturbed or "neurotic." They defend the notion that homosexuality is simply a sexual variation of genetic origin, even though science has still not been able to confirm this. The idea is that homosexual persons go through what they do because they are discriminated by society, and especially by the Church. The authors state that the Church should not discriminate against homosexuals because they are perpetuating myths and stereotypes, or they are "bearing false witness against their neighbor" (Scanzoni and Mollenkott, 1980).
I chose the book by Scanzoni and Mollenkott, Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? to exemplify this viewpoint, but it is not the only book that defends this position. Metropolitan Community Churches, congregations which specifically cater to the homosexual person, state that a place is needed where such individuals can worship God without discrimination since traditional churches do not accept them. They argue that it is possible to be Christian and homosexual, and that there is no need to change one's orientation, but that one should avoid promiscuity and casual sex, maintaining lasting marriage-like relationships with one partner. These churches are generally led by homosexual people and have developed what is known as "Christian gay theology".
Prognosis/Treatment/Cure/Resolution
Let us examine the three positions with respect to their therapeutic aspect or resolution:
The position of homosexuality as demon possession demands spiritual explanations and solutions. A great majority of churches have doctrinal statements that deal with this, although many are not in current use or have been changed in recent years by church leadership.
Generally, if we consider homosexuality as being caused by demon possession, the solution would be an exorcism or "casting out of the demon." If the cause is considered spiritual, the cure would also need to be spiritual. The problem is discerning whether the cause is spiritual or emotional, but we know that if it is a spiritual dilemma, then upon casting out the demon, the cure is instantaneous.
In the case of considering homosexuality as a conduct disorder, the considerations are different. It may come as a surprise that the prognosis for changing one's sexual orientation is better than that of the alcoholic.
Psychoanalytic studies present a negative perspective according to Freud, but there is a new trend (Nicolosi, 1991) that actively develops "reparative therapy of the homosexual." Nicolosi makes an interesting observation. From his experience working with men, he states that there are homosexual men who are not "gay"; these are men who are not satisfied (ego-dystonic) with their sexual orientation and want to change. He contends that "gay" describes a political ideology, a lifestyle; therefore, not all homosexuals are "gay."
There are many authors, psychologists, and counselors who affirm that a change toward heterosexuality is possible, and others who suggest the healthy option of celibacy for their clients, in the same manner that many heterosexuals also live celibate lives. Many others (Collins, 1980; Nicolosi, 1991; Dallas, 1991), including secular ones, state that change is possible, and a great number of testimonies exist where people describe how they have changed. (Rogers, 1994; Worthen, 1983; Comisky, 1989; Cook, 1985; Payne, 1981; etc.) Christian therapists stress the importance of the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit in this process.
So we see that in the case of homosexuality being of emotional and/or psychological origin, the cure then would also be psychotherapeutic.
With regards to homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle, there is no reason to "be cured," since this position argues that it is impossible to change ("Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?" Jer. 13:23). Why can a person not be a Christian and a homosexual? (Berry, 1981; Clark, 1978; Ellens, 1978).
This approach argues that a homosexual person who is involved in mutually faithful relationship with his or her partner is not in sin, and therefore, does not need to change. People who seek psychotherapy should not be encouraged to change, but instead, make personal adjustments and accept their condition as a sexual variation. They should endeavor to live mutually faithful lives with their partner, if such is the case, espousing the Christian virtues of marriage.
Critical Analysis and Evaluation
I would like to make a few observations regarding the three approaches just presented:
With regard to the question of demon possession, the greatest risk is making simplistic generalizations and reductions. One may begin to "see demons behind every tree," explaining everything as the presence of demons. It is important to remember that we are complex creatures, and there are no simple explanations for everything. I do not doubt that there are cases in which a person has been healed through prayer,[2] but it seems to be the exception and not the rule.
It is also important not to attribute everything to external causes to the point that the person feels powerless in finding a solution. Few of the Christians that see homosexuality as "just a demon" accept the idea that there may be other reasons or causes for the problem, but a person with a demon can receive prayer, have the demon cast out, and then continue having symptoms of homosexuality.
Personally, I believe this is because the two conditions can coexist: although the demon is cast out, emotional scars from the past still persist. It is important to take this into account, as many believe that if they return to, or continue having, homosexual impulses and attractions, then they "are not saved" or they "lost their salvation" or that prayer did them no good.
There are things which take time to heal: that is the way it is with most emotional problems. Those that continue having problems after receiving prayer and/or freedom from demons should consider the possibility of seeking counseling with a Christian therapist or become part of an ex-gay ministry in order to resolve the emotional and/or psychological aspects.
With regard to the third approach, it is important to make the observation that many of the authors who defend the position of being Christian and homosexual are themselves in this situation. We must consider whether or not they are seeking to justify their own condition? Two basic questions must be honestly addressed: (1) Do the Scriptures condemn homosexual practices? (2) Can science definitively prove that a change in sexual orientation is impossible?
In addition to these questions, one may also consider the fact that the number of homosexual couples who remain in a monogamous relationship for life is minuscule. Nicolosi (1991) describes a study conducted by McWhirter and Mattison (1984) in which they wished to prove that homosexuals were able to maintain lasting relationships. The authors, themselves a homosexual couple -- one a psychologist and the other a psychiatrist, after a long search found 156 couples whose cohabitation had lasted between one and 37 years. Two-thirds of those who responded to the study had begun the relationship with the expectation of mutual fidelity. The results demonstrated that of the 156 couples, only seven had remained faithful to each other. Of these seven couples, not one had lived together more than five years. "In other words, it was impossible to find one homosexual couple that had maintained sexual fidelity for more than five years" (Nicolosi, 1991:111).
Conclusion
I would like to share a bit of my experience on this matter. In the short years of my psychotherapeutic experience, the only clients who have come to me for the purpose of changing their sexual orientation, without exception, have been Christians. Many non-Christian homosexuals have sought my counsel as well, but not for that purpose. Maybe the Holy Spirit that lives within the Christian makes one seek to live more in accordance with the Word of God.
I have seen change in several people, men as well as women, but I confess that in general, they did not receive much help from the Church. Many sought my help because they feared (with good reason) that if the pastor found out, they would be thrown out of their church. They were seeking Christ's grace, not the Church's condemnation.
However, In the past few years, I have seen many pastors' attitudes in regard to homosexuality begin to change, and I have also seen them sincerely seeking to better understand these people's situation. I have seen Christian counselors who honestly want to understand more, in order to offer better help.
The clients I have worked with, have not been healed overnight. Months, and months and some years, of inner-healing took place, but the overall results were very positive: some of them have married, and some to this day are preparing to marry, something that for them was totally out of the question at the onset of their recovery process. (It is important to note that marriage does not cure homosexuality and should never be sought as such. And that being married does not mean they are cured either, since anyone can lead a double life, as Sy Rogers so well puts it. However, these were clients for whom marriage was a very remote although desirable goal.)
There were several common factors in each case:
Each possessed great motivation to change, an enormous desire to leave their homosexual orientation behind. They each held a firm commitment to invest their time in the counseling and recovery process. They did not miss sessions. They struggled with their problems steadfastly, even with all the pain that they faced many times when recalling the past. They had an active prayer life.
I believe that there are basically two stages in any recovery process: the first is healing -- evaluating past experiences, many times reliving them in order to let go of them; performing "emotional surgery of opening infected wounds", applying the "alcohol" of the Holy Spirit, and sewing them up so that the scars can heal in a healthy way. One must analyze the past experiences and relationships with parents and family members. What behavior models were incorporated? What behaviors were reinforced by the parents? It is hard work which requires patience and perseverance. There are no magic cures, but there is healing.
The second aspect is that of learning. When the root causes of the past have been discovered, and the healing process has been initiated, the person is ready to progress in the psychosexual development that was previously arrested. One must "learn" to be a man or a woman, as all of us have learned: watching others around us, imitating healthy models, being around people that can help with this. One must learn to relate with people of the same gender through the bond of friendship, Christian love, and not through the eros of the past. One must discover the mystery of the opposite sex. There is much to learn.
I believe that psychodrama has been quite useful in this process because it allows people to learn their new roles in a helpful, safe environment. I remember a case where the fellow wanted to learn how to invite a girl to go to a movie for the first time, or a lady that had to learn to dress as a woman and develop her femininity. J.L. Moreno once observed that people get sick in a group (the family), and therefore must get well in a group as well. I have discovered the importance of the Body of Christ in these situations.
Group psychotherapy sometimes reflects this reality. People in the Church have also been able to offer their contribution. I remember a pastor who readily became an example for many young men who were leaving the homosexual lifestyle, and another who was not afraid to show them affection, give them hugs, and offer them his friendship as part of his sincere love for Christ. Perhaps what still moves me most is the pastor who was with a dear member who discovered that he had AIDS after leaving a homosexual lifestyle. This pastor remained with him up to the doors of Heaven, and would not allow anyone else to commit him to God's hands when the Lord came to take him home.
I hope these words will help you to reflect upon this subject with sincerity, but I also ardently desire that they lead you to take a position of compassion towards those who suffer because of their sexual orientation. No one can reach the "stature of the perfect person" of Jesus Christ (Eph. 4:13), without the grace of God. The truth is, all of us need redemption.
I love you truly & deeply!
Dg
I have been working on this for sometime now, and have tried to really focus in on the do's and don't of how to deal with, or help the ssa (same-sex attracted) individual. How do I approach the issue? Are we/they demon possessed? Is it a conduct disorder? Is it an alternative lifestyle? What is the true resolution?, if one? I am not saying that I am gay, however, having gone through the process of questioning myself for many years, how can we see through Scripture and psychological conclusions.
From a Christian perspective we can deal with the theme of "homosexuality" from these three viewpoints: as demon possession, as a conduct disorder, and as an alternative lifestyle. In this note, I will be presenting the three approaches: their conceptual basis, their Biblical foundation, their prognosis and resolution, and a brief evaluation of each position.
Homosexuality and Demon Possession
This first approach perceives homosexuality as caused by demons. It is understood that demons still exist today and their mere existence provides an explanation for many of the problems that people face. "Demonic spirits can invade and live in human bodies... upon indwelling a person, they take advantage of that person... when the demons indwell an individual, the person 'has' or 'is possessed by' demons" (Hammond & Hammond, 1973).
The expression "demon-possessed" seems to have created a lot of confusion through the centuries. In ancient Greece, there was the word daimonizomai, which meant "demonized" or "to have demons," whereas possession had the connotation of complete ownership. This difference becomes significant when the argument of whether or not Christians can have demons is added to the controversy.
Hammond & Hammond (1973) make this observation in order to clarify that even though Christians truly can have demons, they cannot be demon-possessed nor be "owned/possessed" by them since their ownership is already in Christ. Demons in a Christian's life can be no more than "tenants" or invaders that must be confronted and cast out.
According to this approach, the following beliefs are held:
1) There are demons.
2) They can invade people.
Some Christian circles allow the possibility that Christians can also have demons (although they cannot be possessed by them), while other groups do not allow this as the "body is the temple of the Holy Spirit" (I Cor. 6:19) and there can be no communion between light and darkness in one person's body.
Hammond (1973) also states that there are also distinct types of demons. They list 53 groups of demons (pp. 113-115) which include spirits of bitterness, rebellion, envy, depression, sexual impurity (which include those of homosexuality), and death.
As I commented above, there are circles which believe that homosexuality is caused by the presence of a demon in the person's body. The spirit of homosexuality (or lesbianism) would be the cause of such behavior, therefore the root would be spiritual and not of an emotional and/or psychological origin. Also its resolution must be the result of a spiritual nature.
This Christian approach is more common among members of more conservative churches, particularly Pentecostals and those that embrace the concept of "spiritual warfare."
Homosexuality as Conduct Disorder
This is the position most widely held by Christian psychologists and therapists. It holds that homosexuality is caused by childhood trauma(s) which impedes a person's appropriate psycho-sexual development.
Dr. Elizabeth Moberley (1983) states in her book that the individual suffers from a lack of identification with the same-sex parent and that, upon entering puberty, the unsatisfied childhood needs are eroticized, which results in the individual seeking to fulfill these legitimate needs with people of the same gender. This would explain the lack of emotional maturity found in many people that suffer from such difficulties of sexual orientation, since an important aspect of their personality was not fully developed.
Within this approach, homosexual behavior is perceived as sinful, but Collins (1980) makes a significant distinction: the difference between homosexual behavior (where homosexual acts are practiced) and homosexual orientation (where there exists an attraction for persons of the same sex, but there is no practice of homosexual acts; in fact, there are situations where the person rejects such feelings and desires).
Collins recognizes that the practice of homosexual acts is sinful, since the Bible already clearly condemns such behavior (Gen. 19:1-11; Lev. 18:22; Judges 19:22-25; Rom. 1:25-27; I Cor. 6:9; I Tim. 1:9-10. There are four Biblical passages that deal with homosexuality in the context of male prostitution: Deut. 23:17; I Kings 14:24; 15:12; II Kings 23:7.)
On the other hand, Collins states that in no place does the Bible condemn homosexual orientation, although fostering fantasies and homosexual thoughts can lead an individual to commit the sin of lust (in the same way that this occurs with heterosexual persons). This difference is very important for those who counsel individuals struggling with difficulties in their sexual orientation because it offers them a "shelter" from Biblical condemnation during the transition that healing entails.
Struggling individuals have no power over what was done to them as children (which produces the orientation) but they do have power over their acts (practice of homosexual behavior). This gives the client a "safe place" which allows the psychotherapy or counseling to become fruitful. Now the focus of the condemnation is not on who the person is, but on the behavior, over which he or she has control.
Collins (1980) also mentions another difference: He identifies circumstantial homosexuals, those that engage in temporary homosexual activity because their sexual partners of the opposite sex are not available (for example, prisoners or soldiers).
In this approach, a clear, unique cause for homosexuality cannot be identified, but it dismisses the popular idea that it has genetic, biological, or congenital roots (Evans and Collins, 1980: 319).
There are several theories about the development of homosexuality. The one most accepted today by people who work directly with those leaving the gay lifestyle is the one explained above: that there exists a lack of identification with the parent of the same gender (the son with the father; the daughter with the mother), the child does not develop the appropriate sexual role, and when behavior becomes eroticized upon entering puberty, the object of sexual desire remains linked to the need for the approval and affirmation of the same-sex parent.
Collins also notes other possible causes: father-son relationships where the family dynamics are dysfunctional; family relationships with histories of distrust, sexual abuse and/or incest, unhealthy bonds of control, etc.; fear caused by traumatic experiences with the opposite sex (rape, incest, being taught not to trust the opposite sex, lack of interaction with persons of the opposite sex during adolescence, etc.); conscientious choice of a homosexual lifestyle by persons who want to be "in fashion"; or those who have had a homosexual experience, and become vulnerable for such a lifestyle because they often think that because of having once had such an experience, they must be themselves homosexual or it wouldn't have happened to them.
Homosexuality as an Alternative Lifestyle
It may come as a surprise to Christians in some parts of the world, but the idea of being a Christian and an active homosexual is defended by many Christians, especially in the United States and Europe. Their understanding is that there is no Biblical condemnation for a "monogamous" and lasting homosexual relationship within the context of love and whose counterpart would be heterosexual marriage.
Biblically, the defense depends on the following statements (and here I summarize the position of Scanzoni and Mollenkott, 1980):
Referring to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, cities that were destroyed by God for their perversions (Gen. 19), (and from which the word sodomy originated); the authors comment that the foci of the condemnation are: the desire to practice violent homosexual acts with Lot's house guests; the lack of hospitality to foreigners. The condemnation described in Leviticus 18:12 forms part of the Code of Law for ancient Israel. If we were to obey all that is contained in it, we would have to prohibit women from dressing in men's clothing, wearing short hair, and having sexual intercourse during their menstrual period, nor would we be able to wear fabrics of mixed threads, nor eat meat which contains blood, etc. The authors of this perspective insist that such rules were given to keep the Israelites separated from their neighbors since many of the neighboring nations' religions included homosexual practices in their fertility rites. As such, the Jewish people were to avoid all type of idolatry and its practices.
The authors Scanzoni and Mollenkott (1980) present a long exposition of the first chapter of Romans, with respect to what is or is not natural: the social context of the age in which the apostle Paul was writing, and the use of certain words in the original Greek whose understanding, for the authors, is quite debatable. The basic idea, however, is that if homosexuality is "natural" for a certain it would be a sin to go against what is natural for the person.
At the same time, Scanzoni and Mollenkott insist upon the need of a conversion experience in order to enter the Kingdom of God, but state that such a decision does not automatically erase the homosexual orientation nor does it miraculously make a person heterosexual. Everyone (gay and straight) must fight against the "old nature."
In their book they also cite many studies that have been developed by homosexual persons who are not disturbed or "neurotic." They defend the notion that homosexuality is simply a sexual variation of genetic origin, even though science has still not been able to confirm this. The idea is that homosexual persons go through what they do because they are discriminated by society, and especially by the Church. The authors state that the Church should not discriminate against homosexuals because they are perpetuating myths and stereotypes, or they are "bearing false witness against their neighbor" (Scanzoni and Mollenkott, 1980).
I chose the book by Scanzoni and Mollenkott, Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? to exemplify this viewpoint, but it is not the only book that defends this position. Metropolitan Community Churches, congregations which specifically cater to the homosexual person, state that a place is needed where such individuals can worship God without discrimination since traditional churches do not accept them. They argue that it is possible to be Christian and homosexual, and that there is no need to change one's orientation, but that one should avoid promiscuity and casual sex, maintaining lasting marriage-like relationships with one partner. These churches are generally led by homosexual people and have developed what is known as "Christian gay theology".
Prognosis/Treatment/Cure/R
Let us examine the three positions with respect to their therapeutic aspect or resolution:
The position of homosexuality as demon possession demands spiritual explanations and solutions. A great majority of churches have doctrinal statements that deal with this, although many are not in current use or have been changed in recent years by church leadership.
Generally, if we consider homosexuality as being caused by demon possession, the solution would be an exorcism or "casting out of the demon." If the cause is considered spiritual, the cure would also need to be spiritual. The problem is discerning whether the cause is spiritual or emotional, but we know that if it is a spiritual dilemma, then upon casting out the demon, the cure is instantaneous.
In the case of considering homosexuality as a conduct disorder, the considerations are different. It may come as a surprise that the prognosis for changing one's sexual orientation is better than that of the alcoholic.
Psychoanalytic studies present a negative perspective according to Freud, but there is a new trend (Nicolosi, 1991) that actively develops "reparative therapy of the homosexual." Nicolosi makes an interesting observation. From his experience working with men, he states that there are homosexual men who are not "gay"; these are men who are not satisfied (ego-dystonic) with their sexual orientation and want to change. He contends that "gay" describes a political ideology, a lifestyle; therefore, not all homosexuals are "gay."
There are many authors, psychologists, and counselors who affirm that a change toward heterosexuality is possible, and others who suggest the healthy option of celibacy for their clients, in the same manner that many heterosexuals also live celibate lives. Many others (Collins, 1980; Nicolosi, 1991; Dallas, 1991), including secular ones, state that change is possible, and a great number of testimonies exist where people describe how they have changed. (Rogers, 1994; Worthen, 1983; Comisky, 1989; Cook, 1985; Payne, 1981; etc.) Christian therapists stress the importance of the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit in this process.
So we see that in the case of homosexuality being of emotional and/or psychological origin, the cure then would also be psychotherapeutic.
With regards to homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle, there is no reason to "be cured," since this position argues that it is impossible to change ("Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?" Jer. 13:23). Why can a person not be a Christian and a homosexual? (Berry, 1981; Clark, 1978; Ellens, 1978).
This approach argues that a homosexual person who is involved in mutually faithful relationship with his or her partner is not in sin, and therefore, does not need to change. People who seek psychotherapy should not be encouraged to change, but instead, make personal adjustments and accept their condition as a sexual variation. They should endeavor to live mutually faithful lives with their partner, if such is the case, espousing the Christian virtues of marriage.
Critical Analysis and Evaluation
I would like to make a few observations regarding the three approaches just presented:
With regard to the question of demon possession, the greatest risk is making simplistic generalizations and reductions. One may begin to "see demons behind every tree," explaining everything as the presence of demons. It is important to remember that we are complex creatures, and there are no simple explanations for everything. I do not doubt that there are cases in which a person has been healed through prayer,[2] but it seems to be the exception and not the rule.
It is also important not to attribute everything to external causes to the point that the person feels powerless in finding a solution. Few of the Christians that see homosexuality as "just a demon" accept the idea that there may be other reasons or causes for the problem, but a person with a demon can receive prayer, have the demon cast out, and then continue having symptoms of homosexuality.
Personally, I believe this is because the two conditions can coexist: although the demon is cast out, emotional scars from the past still persist. It is important to take this into account, as many believe that if they return to, or continue having, homosexual impulses and attractions, then they "are not saved" or they "lost their salvation" or that prayer did them no good.
There are things which take time to heal: that is the way it is with most emotional problems. Those that continue having problems after receiving prayer and/or freedom from demons should consider the possibility of seeking counseling with a Christian therapist or become part of an ex-gay ministry in order to resolve the emotional and/or psychological aspects.
With regard to the third approach, it is important to make the observation that many of the authors who defend the position of being Christian and homosexual are themselves in this situation. We must consider whether or not they are seeking to justify their own condition? Two basic questions must be honestly addressed: (1) Do the Scriptures condemn homosexual practices? (2) Can science definitively prove that a change in sexual orientation is impossible?
In addition to these questions, one may also consider the fact that the number of homosexual couples who remain in a monogamous relationship for life is minuscule. Nicolosi (1991) describes a study conducted by McWhirter and Mattison (1984) in which they wished to prove that homosexuals were able to maintain lasting relationships. The authors, themselves a homosexual couple -- one a psychologist and the other a psychiatrist, after a long search found 156 couples whose cohabitation had lasted between one and 37 years. Two-thirds of those who responded to the study had begun the relationship with the expectation of mutual fidelity. The results demonstrated that of the 156 couples, only seven had remained faithful to each other. Of these seven couples, not one had lived together more than five years. "In other words, it was impossible to find one homosexual couple that had maintained sexual fidelity for more than five years" (Nicolosi, 1991:111).
Conclusion
I would like to share a bit of my experience on this matter. In the short years of my psychotherapeutic experience, the only clients who have come to me for the purpose of changing their sexual orientation, without exception, have been Christians. Many non-Christian homosexuals have sought my counsel as well, but not for that purpose. Maybe the Holy Spirit that lives within the Christian makes one seek to live more in accordance with the Word of God.
I have seen change in several people, men as well as women, but I confess that in general, they did not receive much help from the Church. Many sought my help because they feared (with good reason) that if the pastor found out, they would be thrown out of their church. They were seeking Christ's grace, not the Church's condemnation.
However, In the past few years, I have seen many pastors' attitudes in regard to homosexuality begin to change, and I have also seen them sincerely seeking to better understand these people's situation. I have seen Christian counselors who honestly want to understand more, in order to offer better help.
The clients I have worked with, have not been healed overnight. Months, and months and some years, of inner-healing took place, but the overall results were very positive: some of them have married, and some to this day are preparing to marry, something that for them was totally out of the question at the onset of their recovery process. (It is important to note that marriage does not cure homosexuality and should never be sought as such. And that being married does not mean they are cured either, since anyone can lead a double life, as Sy Rogers so well puts it. However, these were clients for whom marriage was a very remote although desirable goal.)
There were several common factors in each case:
Each possessed great motivation to change, an enormous desire to leave their homosexual orientation behind. They each held a firm commitment to invest their time in the counseling and recovery process. They did not miss sessions. They struggled with their problems steadfastly, even with all the pain that they faced many times when recalling the past. They had an active prayer life.
I believe that there are basically two stages in any recovery process: the first is healing -- evaluating past experiences, many times reliving them in order to let go of them; performing "emotional surgery of opening infected wounds", applying the "alcohol" of the Holy Spirit, and sewing them up so that the scars can heal in a healthy way. One must analyze the past experiences and relationships with parents and family members. What behavior models were incorporated? What behaviors were reinforced by the parents? It is hard work which requires patience and perseverance. There are no magic cures, but there is healing.
The second aspect is that of learning. When the root causes of the past have been discovered, and the healing process has been initiated, the person is ready to progress in the psychosexual development that was previously arrested. One must "learn" to be a man or a woman, as all of us have learned: watching others around us, imitating healthy models, being around people that can help with this. One must learn to relate with people of the same gender through the bond of friendship, Christian love, and not through the eros of the past. One must discover the mystery of the opposite sex. There is much to learn.
I believe that psychodrama has been quite useful in this process because it allows people to learn their new roles in a helpful, safe environment. I remember a case where the fellow wanted to learn how to invite a girl to go to a movie for the first time, or a lady that had to learn to dress as a woman and develop her femininity. J.L. Moreno once observed that people get sick in a group (the family), and therefore must get well in a group as well. I have discovered the importance of the Body of Christ in these situations.
Group psychotherapy sometimes reflects this reality. People in the Church have also been able to offer their contribution. I remember a pastor who readily became an example for many young men who were leaving the homosexual lifestyle, and another who was not afraid to show them affection, give them hugs, and offer them his friendship as part of his sincere love for Christ. Perhaps what still moves me most is the pastor who was with a dear member who discovered that he had AIDS after leaving a homosexual lifestyle. This pastor remained with him up to the doors of Heaven, and would not allow anyone else to commit him to God's hands when the Lord came to take him home.
I hope these words will help you to reflect upon this subject with sincerity, but I also ardently desire that they lead you to take a position of compassion towards those who suffer because of their sexual orientation. No one can reach the "stature of the perfect person" of Jesus Christ (Eph. 4:13), without the grace of God. The truth is, all of us need redemption.
I love you truly & deeply!
Dg
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