The past few weeks I’ve been having this overwhelming sense of God’s love in my heart. I seriously think I am going to EXPLODE with the love of the Holy Spirit! I can’t explain the feeling exactly, sometimes I just feel like I am FILLED TO THE BRIM and about to blow up like a dynamite stick with the love of Jesus in my heart!!!
I know this sounds extreme, but I thought I would try to put it down into words. Forgive me for the error of just writing....I'm just so captivated right now!!
I think about a few months back, life just took a huge turn. I mean, I've been doing a lot of things I love doing….traveling, speaking Hope from my past, counseling people, helping them find life in God-Freedom, leading worship, hitting the gym, enjoying this Illinois weather (haha), meeting up with great people and spending quality time with my new close Illinois friends. I can honestly say it’s been “good times.” Even my daily devotion with Jesus has been “good” … I literally feel the presence of the Holy Spirit with me everyday. Recently, I was reading through my daily scriptures, and just enjoying God. Yet, for some reason, I got this weird “lonely feeling” during the day for no reason. I couldn’t make sense of it either? I mean, everything around me has been going great, in fact, great is not even the right word… everything has been seriously EXCITING and SUPERNATURAL! I am witnessing miracles daily, prophesying and ministering to people all the time and seeing lives transformed before my eyes. Seeing prayers answered, destiny fulfilled and unbelievable things happening. It’s all wonderful!
But sometimes “good” is the enemy of “best”. Life can be good, but is your life experiencing the BEST? What is that best? Sometimes, when we get so full of blessings, we lose the capacity to be desperate and hungry for God. When things just seem to be going good, that could be a sign that you are more focused on the blessings rather than the BLESSER.
Not sure when it happened, but a few months back I just told Papa-God, “I don’t just want to feel you, enjoy your Word and see you do cool stuff around me all day… I SERIOUSLY WITH EVERYTHING IN ME WANT YOU & ONLY YOU…I want You more than ever and I want to go higher and deeper into the depths of Your eternal love. I don’t want to settle for what I already have, I want more of You. I want more of Your manifest presence. I want Your glory in my life. I want to KNOW YOU MORE.”
This Scripture is the only thing that comes to mind! John 17:3 “And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”
Eternal life doesn’t begin later, it begins the moment we are born again in Jesus Christ. From that point on, I believe our purpose in life is to spend every waking moment getting to know this LIFE that is found only in the Person of Jesus. I don’t want to be consumed with all the cool things I can do for God, I want to be consumed with knowing Papa-God more. I mean, like being fascinated with who He is, what He likes, what He dislikes, understanding His personality, gazing into His beauty, feeling His manifest glory and just learning to love being with Him because He is the reason I breathe and live. I'm SO IN LOVE WITH PAPA!!
What better way to live than with God? Seriously, I know this may sound crazy....but He is the ultimate boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, the GREATEST LOVER of all time. Who cares if your single!! I mean, seriously, WE HAVE THE LORD OUR GOD and HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER! When you talk to Jesus He talks back! WT???? Are you kidding me? Think about it for a moment… we can talk to God? Who cares about talking to someone else really, when you can talk to the Creator who created every created being! (not that we can’t experience Jesus when talking to others, but there is a priority in speaking solely to the Lord who then gives us the overflow of His love to engage with others in His strength). When I think about the Lord and all He has done for me, how He is always with me, how He is smiling at me right now, how He loves to love me and gives me the chance to love Him back with all my heart, soul, strength and mind… I sit there stunned at His majesty! He is AWESOME!
Anyways, this post is not going to be coherent, cause I feel like I am going to explode with His love even as I am typing here!!!Anyways...I have recently been fasting, and spending some extended times waiting upon the Lord’s presence, and His glory, anointing, presence, love, whatever you want to call it…. it was Himself…JESUS filled me up and I just sit here and WEEP, and WEEP, and WEEP and WEEEEEEEEEEEEP with tears of JOY!!! And my heart feels this tangible supernatural love that I can’t explain. I feel it right now!! It’s crazy!!! AHHH!!!
You may think I’m crazy, I think I am. I am crazy in love with Jesus, my Daddy & King, my Lover and my Friend! He is my God and OH MY GOD is HE GOD!!
I know it's great that things are going well in my life and that blessings are flowing everywhere. However, At the same time, I have other issues that are not going that great in my life, but somehow I just seem to trust God that it will all work out. I went from almost getting married, to being single, and almost wanting to quit, to not even wanting a girlfriend (and it’s not that I don’t want one) but honestly, when you are seriously madly, deeply in love with Jesus and you constantly take the time out everyday to get FILLED UP WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT and then throughout the day keep walking and talking to this GREAT LOVER and saturate your mind, your will and your ways with His Word, His presence and His glory in all things… the things of this world kind of just fade away. REALLY REALLY...they do.
Now you may say, you are just on a spiritual high right now…well, maybe I am, but it’s not like I went to some conference to get it, or went to some spiritual retreat, had some crazy prophetic encounter, or had some major breakthrough in my life… I just decided one day that I WANTED MORE OF GOD THAN WHAT I ALREADY HAD! and I desire to want Him more each day, more than the day before till the day I die!
Apostle Paul said that his life aim was one thing “That I may know Christ” (Phil 3:10) I can totally imagine that Paul did not die grumpy, bitter, or beat down in his spirit because His spirit was being renewed day by day, closer and closer to Jesus even though His outward man was perishing. That is the way I want to die and go out. When my day ends, I want to die seriously, madly, deeply in love with Jesus.
I have rambled on.....I am seriously just so overtaken by the GREATEST LOVE, and lover of the World! I pray for all those who read this....again, you may think that I am nuts....But I can honestly say....There is no greater depth, than knowing that someone can love you despite all conditions of your life, whether good or bad...JESUS WILL NEVER FAIL!
I love you friends....OH SO MUCH! I wish the same encounter on you! You can have a deeper love...Just ask, and I promise...HE WILL Allow it!
I love you deeply!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
An Outstanding Note from Beth Moore
This is just too good not to pass on!!! For those of you who don't know Beth Moore, she is an outstanding Bible teacher, writer of Bible Studies, and a married mother of 2 daughters. She is a member of First Baptist, in Houston Tx.
Beth Moore
"Knoxville Airport - Reflections"
Waiting to board the plane: I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you.
You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego...
I tried to keep from staring but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long. Clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.
I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport...an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere?....
There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.
I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. "Oh no, God please no." I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, "Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!"...
There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, "Please don't make me witness to ! this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane." Then I heard it..."I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair." The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, "God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm you're girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am on him. I am going to witness to this man."
Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. "That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair."
I looked up at God and quipped, "I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane, How am I supposed to brush his hair without
a hairbrush?"...
God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: "I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works." (2 Tim 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man, and asked as demurely as possible, "Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" He looked back at me and said, "What did you say?" "May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" To which he responded in volume ten, "Little lady, if you expect me to hear you,you're going to have to talk louder than that. At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, "SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?" At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, "If you really want to." Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, "Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush." "I have one in my bag," he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but I must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I for that few minutes felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said,"Sir, do you know my Jesus?" He said, "Yes, I do." Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, "I've known Him since I married my bride." "She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior." He said,
"You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself. What a mess I must be for my bride."
Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it. Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft. I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to
board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, "That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?" I said, "Do you know Jesus? ! He can be the bossiest thing!" And we got to share.
I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted because you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!
I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way...all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.
John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
Live to Influence...despite what you feel, or how you feel.....Obedience is vital when we live to influence as Christ!
I love you deeply!
Dg
Beth Moore
"Knoxville Airport - Reflections"
Waiting to board the plane: I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you.
You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego...
I tried to keep from staring but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long. Clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.
I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport...an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere?....
There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.
I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. "Oh no, God please no." I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, "Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!"...
There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, "Please don't make me witness to ! this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane." Then I heard it..."I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair." The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, "God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm you're girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am on him. I am going to witness to this man."
Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. "That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair."
I looked up at God and quipped, "I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane, How am I supposed to brush his hair without
a hairbrush?"...
God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: "I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works." (2 Tim 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man, and asked as demurely as possible, "Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" He looked back at me and said, "What did you say?" "May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" To which he responded in volume ten, "Little lady, if you expect me to hear you,you're going to have to talk louder than that. At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, "SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?" At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, "If you really want to." Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, "Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush." "I have one in my bag," he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but I must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I for that few minutes felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said,"Sir, do you know my Jesus?" He said, "Yes, I do." Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, "I've known Him since I married my bride." "She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior." He said,
"You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself. What a mess I must be for my bride."
Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it. Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft. I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to
board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, "That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?" I said, "Do you know Jesus? ! He can be the bossiest thing!" And we got to share.
I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted because you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!
I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way...all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.
John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
Live to Influence...despite what you feel, or how you feel.....Obedience is vital when we live to influence as Christ!
I love you deeply!
Dg
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
